I dream of becoming the kind of man women tell, like Makeotoko, Kazu, and Mac, “I don’t need an allowance.” How can I become that kind of person? Is there anything you consciously see as the key to your appeal?

I’m Fuu, a column writer. I think it only applies to wealthy or extremely wealthy men who can offer value and experiences beyond the allowance. The golden rule here is: The allowance comes first! If you start dreaming based on columns and this Q&A forum, you’ll get hurt. Casually saying, “We don’t need an allowance, right?” will get you reported to the Universe Police and cut off by the good girls. Find your fun on a level that matches your means.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Just a heads-up: sometimes “I don’t need an allowance” is a calculated move to reel in something much bigger. My name isn’t mentioned, but just in case. I’ve never had a papa-katsu woman’s “I don’t need an allowance” turn into a steady friends-with-benefits arrangement. Even when something like that did happen, it only lasted a few times before we ultimately just became friends. I’ve written most of the details in my column, so feel free to check it out. Sorry for the unromantic answer.

Should I go with the handsome-guy approach or the genuinely serious-guy approach? I’m definitely the genuinely serious type, so that’s all I really know. Every woman I dated normally from my late twenties onward eventually ended up talking about marriage—whether we got married, became engaged, or moved in together. They all came to want marriage. Their parents especially tended to like me a lot. Maybe, from the woman’s perspective, there simply wasn’t a reason to break up with me—or maybe I just came across as serious, kind, calm, and reassuring: the type who’s suited for marriage. Even with the club woman I’m currently seeing, we’ve never discussed an allowance or agreed on an amount. There have been times when she came to meet me just for dinner, even without knowing whether she’d receive anything, or met me because she wanted advice or help. Depending on what she needed or what we did, I sometimes give her nothing, but normally I do give her an allowance when she comes to see me. So, what I’m trying to say is: the way you treat women before getting into a club arrangement determines everything, doesn’t it? It all comes down to your true self. And that’s how I’ve gotten married several times, or ended up dragging things out without breaking up—I’m basically a paper airplane. Lately, I’ve once again been thinking that it would be nice to meet someone outside the club too, and feel that excitement of wondering whether we might make it to a first date.

Rather than aiming for a relationship where she tells you she doesn’t need an allowance, I think it means that if you treat her well and still give her the allowance properly, that may happen naturally as a result. Marika

I’m a losing male member. Maybe Nagoya girls are genuinely prone to falling in love. Since everyone defines words differently, let’s call it “gacha-love.” For the purposes of this answer, I’ll define it as not going as far as marriage, but being told, “I don’t need an allowance—just see me more often.” There have been several times when an allowance was deliberately left behind as I was leaving the room. Later, I’d get an email saying, “Since I couldn’t accept the allowance after all, I left it by the sink.” I don’t really want to answer seriously, but Marika-san would get angry with me, so I’ll give a serious answer: I prepare extensively and provide the best possible dates. I’ve never once cut corners on a date. I prepare just as thoroughly even for girls who aren’t particular favorites of mine. If you work for Universe, you should already know how meticulous my preparations are from the setting-up stage. Naturally, Mr. Maezawa could verify all of this. As far as I’m concerned, things start getting intimate from the very first message during the arrangement process, so I never let my guard down. Do you visit the date location the day before? I inspect the place and check the route every single time. If it’s a hotel I’ve never been to before, I feel uneasy, so I stay once in a similar room and check all sorts of things. For dinner dates, the airflow in the restaurant is extremely important, so I check everything—the air conditioning, how much air comes in through the entrances, and so on. To give an extreme example, I calculate my actions down to things like passing a certain spot in the restaurant at a specific hour, minute, and second so she can catch the scent of my cologne. I have countless little techniques, such as the direction I face and deliberately having her sit in the less prestigious seat. There are books and online courses that claim to be dating manuals, but whenever I read them, I can’t help thinking they’re utterly ridiculous. During a date, I don’t want to make even one mistake. I work hard to escort her beyond perfection and ensure she’s completely satisfied. I work out intensely, too—so intensely that I maintain my short, overweight, bald physique. People tend to misunderstand because my allowance is high, but I’m far more confident in my dating skills. I’ve trained at a high level since I was young, so I never show even the slightest opening. Talking is my greatest strength, including pillow talk. I’m also good at messaging. I absolutely hate being thought of as someone who “satisfies women with money.” The date has to be perfect, the allowance has to be perfect, and my short, fat, bald appearance has to be perfect. I can’t stand anything less than perfection across the board. I like the fact that I meticulously prepare so women can enjoy themselves. It’s a desire for self-actualization. To maintain my weight, daily strength training and running are a given. I also spend an incredible amount on grooming and skincare. Sometimes the result is that a woman develops gacha-love for me. But the moment she does and says she doesn’t need an allowance, it’s game over. I end things. Still, there’s no way I would cut corners on a date just to avoid gacha-love. People who cut corners on dates won’t succeed in business either. I’d bet money on that. Preparing for business and preparing for a date are the same thing. You should also make a point of getting her worked up before entering the room, so you can win without having to fight. You can’t make a woman climax through technique alone. Everything from your everyday LINE messages through the dinner date is foreplay. After preparing this thoroughly, making sure she enjoys the date, and then giving her a generous allowance, she’ll think, “I’m glad I met Losing Man.” She’s entrusting the most important part of her body to a piece of trash like me. Naturally, I should satisfy her so thoroughly that she feels she’s gotten far more than her money’s worth. Because I prepare this thoroughly, even when someone trashes me on this Q&A site, all I can do is smile. Ahhh, I hate that my character is falling apart! My whole persona was that of a foul old man—short, fat, bald, and bad breath—who slaps women across the face with bundles of cash before holding them! My career as an answerer is over now... Thank you all for everything.

I’m Joe. It’s been over three years since I joined. I’ve been told three times that no allowance was necessary. Embarrassingly, one of those was a misunderstanding on my part, and another ended up costing me even more money when we parted ways. So when I was told that a third time, I declined. Even someone like Joe, who isn’t particularly polished or what you’d call a “cool older guy,” can still have surprising things happen. That said, as long as you meet someone through a club—and especially if you’re married—“no allowance” will undoubtedly cost you dearly in many ways. If anything, it can be a road straight to hell. You’re free to dream, and I understand how you feel, but I think it would be better to wake up. You should listen to those with more experience（笑).

I’m Aya, a female member. This is a really difficult question because I’ve told quite a few papas, “You don’t need to give me an allowance.” They’re always genuinely pleased to hear it, and we become even closer—but the allowance never actually goes away. Saying “You don’t need to give me an allowance” is often almost the same as saying, “Thank you as always for the allowance. Being with you is really worth it to me, and I appreciate you. I hope we’ll continue to get along.” So I don’t think hearing that necessarily means you can date a younger woman without money being involved… Of course, I would never say it to a papa who lacks basic cleanliness and whom I don’t even want to meet, so I suppose it can still serve as some kind of indication. With that in mind, rather than aiming for that, wouldn’t you ultimately be more popular with women if you focused on treating them well, being considerate, and improving your appearance?

I’m Kazu, a male member. I try to be a good papa (a male supporter) whom women wouldn’t want to let go of. That said, simply spoiling someone can distort her sense of reality, so I also make sure I don’t become just a convenient partner. I treat it much like I would an employee. Edit: Just to avoid any misunderstanding: as everyone has said, it’s not really a relationship without an allowance, nor would I make it one. Even if a woman says, “You don’t need to give me an allowance,” I take it as a sign of her trust that she believes I’ll give her one anyway. Edit 2: Lately, though, I feel it’s less about proving trust and more often, “You’re always so good to me, and I’m doing well financially this month and feeling generous, so I don’t need anything today.” When that happens, I sometimes accept the allowance she gives back, go along with her feelings, and give it to her later as a bonus.