I’ve been seeing someone for two months now. We meet two or three times a month, but we’re both married. Every time we meet, he asks for photos of me or says he wants to take pictures. I’ve never been comfortable being photographed, and since we’re both married, I don’t want any photos taken because they could cause problems or become evidence. I’ve told him this many times, but whenever we go somewhere with beautiful scenery, he still asks me to let him take pictures.
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When I asked him why he wants to take so many photos, he said he wants to look at pictures of me when he’s alone or feeling lonely. He’s also jokingly said things like, “I’d love to record a video while we’re being intimate…”
He says his wife isn’t interested in him and would never look through his phone, but I feel that taking photos is nothing but a risk, so I don’t want to do it.
The other day, we went to see the autumn leaves, and because the scenery was beautiful, he kept asking me over and over. Honestly, I was fed up. If neither of us were married and we were a normal couple, I could certainly understand wanting to take pictures as mementos, but…
For those of you on Universe who are married, do you all take photos?
Am I being unreasonable for refusing? I’m starting to wonder if my way of thinking is strange. (ToT)
I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.”
That’s perfectly normal. I don’t take photos or anything like that.
I don’t take them for privacy reasons either.
I simply leave the photos women send me in LINE.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
He’s a man with absolutely no sense of risk management… It’s embarrassing.
If he says, “Let me take your picture,” how about responding with something like, “I should be the one taking yours♡ Let me take a picture of you,” and pointing the camera at him, or saying, “I’m shy♡” and continuing to dodge the request lightly? Once the stress becomes too much, I think all you can do is end things.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to share photos.
If you’re fed up, why are you continuing the relationship?
Being involved with someone while feeling miserable will take a toll on your mental health.
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It’s Joe.
Of course, there’s nothing strange about that.
I hope you can continue politely declining photos with confidence and maintain a peaceful relationship going forward.
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I’m a male member who’s not exactly winning at this.
Your instincts are absolutely right. Photos are a taboo. I sometimes take photos of just the woman using her phone, but I never appear in them, and I’ve never once taken a photo of a woman with my own phone.
A situation where both parties have agreed, like Mack-san’s, is different. But if you’re both married, as in your case, photos are nothing but a risk, so you should definitely avoid them.
Still, he sounds like quite a papa (a male supporter) to keep asking you to do something you clearly dislike.
Come to think of it, I’ve been secretly photographed several times myself. I ended things with two women because of it.
The only exception is Ace. I’ll take a two-shot photo with her phone, but only when she asks for it. We have a relationship built on trust, so there’s no problem. Even so, no matter how much I trust her, I would never take a photo of Ace with my own phone.
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