I have several papas who want to take me on one- or two-night trips for either an allowance of 10 for dinner only (no intimacy) or 50 for an adult relationship (intimate) only.
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I assume they offer that amount because they think they’re “taking me on a trip,” but from my perspective, it also takes up a lot of time. If it’s a trip, I’d like them to increase the allowance. How should I bring this up with them?
This may sound rude, but do they think that way because they’re cheap to begin with?
With Christmas and the end of the year approaching, the subject of taking a trip has come up.
It’s Joe.
I’ve had my share of twists and turns—and plenty of confusion—over the whole travel issue. I’ve caused quite a few women trouble as well.
Based on my experiences, I think you should simply and directly state what you want, briefly.
As you’ve noticed, the man tends to think, “I’m taking her on a trip” (putting myself above the situation here, but what a fool), while the woman thinks, “I’m being tied up for two whole days, so unless I get an increased allowance, it’s not worth it.” Both sides have a point, so there’s no truly objective position. And the gap between them is much bigger than you might imagine, making it difficult to bridge.
That’s precisely why it’s important to state your wishes directly and concisely. If you start trying various tactics, your message gets longer, and the longer it gets, the more likely you are to say something unnecessary—something that makes papa furious. So keeping it short is key.
Example, in G-chan’s case:
“This will be my first time visiting Shizuoka. I’m really, really looking forward to the tea kaiseki restaurant you booked. I’d like to receive an allowance of ¥○○○,○○○.”
You don’t even need a conjunction. LOL
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I’m Aya, a female member.
This is probably going to be pretty difficult. Since you’ve already gone on several trips with your papa (a male supporter) at that rate, simply asking for more would likely leave him feeling uncomfortable.
I think your best option is to give up on traveling as often and reduce the frequency. How your papa reacts once he senses that you’re no longer interested in going will depend on him, but I imagine you’ll both gradually lose interest.
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I’m a losing male member.
Try sending her a LINE message like this:
“I’m not really comfortable with a transactional relationship either, but a trip would probably last two full days, so it would put a bit more of a burden on me. I don’t suppose you could increase the allowance, though, so let’s wait until we’re both a little more comfortable financially, okay? ♡”
In short:
“If you’re inviting me on a trip, then increase the allowance, damn it.”
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I’m Dai, a male member.
People may call me stingy, but I simply don’t pay for things I don’t need.
Don’t you go on a trip together because you’ve grown close and genuinely want to travel together?
If you don’t even want to travel with some older guy, but are only willing to accompany him because he’ll increase your allowance, then I wouldn’t want to travel with someone like that.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
I think this has some similarities to business negotiations.
A deal only works when both sides agree, but one side wants to pay less while the other doesn’t want to lower the price. Despite those conflicting feelings, they try to somehow reach an agreement.
If you only insist on your own demands or say from the start that something is impossible, the other person may decide, “I can’t work with this person,” and the negotiation will end right there.
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is similar in a way.
So I think it’s better to listen to what the other person has to say, feel out what they’re comfortable with, make them feel good, earn their trust, and become someone they want to look after before bringing up your own requests.
If that sounds like too much trouble, you could try asking something like this when you’re in bed and things are about to go further:
“About our next trip… could you make the allowance 10?”
Then tease them and don’t let things proceed until they agree.
That kind of thing…
Of course, afterward they might decide they don’t want anything more to do with you. To prevent that, you could give them about twice your usual level of attention and service.
In the end, we’re all human.
If someone makes a cute request, you might think, “Why bring this up now?” but still find yourself agreeing.
That said, it does feel like a double-edged sword, so I think this method should be kept as a last resort.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
For a trip, I think all you can do is ask for a higher allowance. If he doesn’t feel it’s worth doing, he’ll stop inviting you. And if he decides you’re not worth it, he’ll probably end the relationship.
It would be a shame to just write him off as stingy without thinking it through, but since you don’t seem particularly good at overthinking things, maybe it’s fine to simply conclude that he’s always been stingy.
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This is a question that’s been asked dozens of times.
The terms will vary depending on your relationship, how you both think about it, and various other factors. Even if it feels awkward, I think it’s best to discuss everything beforehand so you can both feel comfortable going on the trip.
Marika
“I'm so excited about our first trip♡ Since we usually spend about four hours together for an allowance of 5, being together for 24 hours would make the allowance 30. That would be a lot for you, and I really like you and want you to keep taking me on trips, so 10 would be fine!”
If it works, let us know how it goes.
No responsibility accepted if it doesn’t.
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