This is about a friend who gets a lot of attention. Even when an ex contacts her and she feels like hanging out, she apparently tells him, “I have a boyfriend now.” Normally, if an ex or someone who seems interested contacts you, wouldn’t it be better to have fun together without mentioning your boyfriend so they might treat you even more generously? But people who are popular often choose not to hide it and tell them, don’t they?
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Why do you think that is? Also, are there situations in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) where it’s better to tell a papa (a male supporter) that you have a boyfriend?.
I’m Osaka, a male member.
Both men and women can get jealous, so I think it really just depends on how you handle it.
When someone tells their current partner that they’re meeting an ex, they’re a genuine attention-seeker who wants to stir up jealousy. I’ll play along while it’s still cute, but honestly, it can be a hassle. Just don’t overdo it.
With papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), if a man starts developing genuine romantic feelings, I think the woman may instinctively hide the fact that she has a boyfriend. (And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.)
She wants to get her allowance raised, after all lol.
But when you reach the point where you can openly talk about being married or having a boyfriend, there’s a different kind of trust—almost like an alliance. It’s an enjoyable stage because both sides can act thoughtfully and protect each other.
I think jealousy is like a spice, but you have to use it in moderation. A dish that’s too heavily seasoned isn’t something you can eat every day.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this too.
> Popular people intentionally mention it without hiding it, don’t they?
Huh?
Regardless of whether someone is popular, if they’re satisfied with the person they’re currently dating, most people would naturally say they’re in a relationship.
I feel like people tend to hide their current partner when they’re dissatisfied with them and looking for someone else.
Also, mentioning it may be a way of confirming: “I’d be willing to meet as friends, but anything beyond that is out of the question. Is that okay with you?”
An ex might also think, “If she isn’t seeing anyone now, maybe I still have a chance.” So I feel like it’s only natural to mention it.
> I feel like they’d treat me even better if I didn’t tell them I had a boyfriend.
Maybe because they’re popular, they’re not interested in that sort of thing. Most men would probably fawn over them anyway.
> Are there any situations in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) where it’s better to tell your papa that you have a boyfriend?
I think the way people look at it is different in papa-katsu. Still, if a woman has a boyfriend around her own age, I feel it’s better to mention it so her papa doesn’t become overly invested.
It seems fine to treat the papa and the boyfriend as separate.
If you want a papa who develops genuine romantic feelings for you, then I think it’s better not to say anything. But I’d be scared that he might become a stalker if you broke up.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Personally, I don’t really care either way—I just go along with whatever works for the other person.
I don’t get jealous of their boyfriend or anything. We’re playing on completely different fields.
If someone tells me they have a boyfriend, I consider whether they’re saying it because they want me to show some jealousy or because they want to keep a certain distance, and I respond accordingly. If it’s the former, I’ll show just the right amount of jealousy for them, but honestly, it’s pretty annoying.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Are you the type to be unfaithful?
Even setting your ex aside, the fact that you’re seeing someone who seems interested in you while you already have a boyfriend suggests that your boundaries may be a little loose to begin with.
You’d probably tell him you have a boyfriend to draw a clear line.
But with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), telling him might cool his interest—or, like an NTR fantasy, it might make things more exciting in bed.
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You shouldn’t put papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and a real-life boyfriend in the same category.
Telling an ex that you have a boyfriend seems perfectly normal to me… Don’t you tell them?
Somehow, I feel like we have different ideas of what it means to be popular.
Akari
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I’m a lost man in my 60s.
Even if a popular woman tells a man, “I have a boyfriend, but…,” if she still seems willing to date him, it may, as Mac-san suggests, spark his competitive instincts. Or perhaps he may simply take it easy without feeling the need to compete. Either way, from an outside perspective, she’ll probably still come across as “a popular woman.”
I’m currently seeing a woman who has a boyfriend. She has already left the service, but since she was originally an A-type member, I always assumed it was only natural that she’d eventually get a boyfriend. So even when she told me she had one, I wasn’t shaken and continued seeing her. Her boyfriend knows about me and approves of it, too…
I can’t help but harbor a faint hope that, if they ever break up, some kind of opportunity might come my way…
Ah, Mac-san!
Is this one of the symptoms of being addicted to popularity?
Haha.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
Questioner, you shouldn’t do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) together with your boyfriend while dating him for money.
You might be able to provoke his jealousy, but don’t you think papa-katsu is something people look down on?
I think it’s best never to tell anyone about your papa-katsu—not until the day you die. Of course, you absolutely shouldn’t tell your friends either. There’s a good chance you’ll lose them.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it’s because giving someone false hope only makes things troublesome later. Another possibility is that they simply don’t want the hassle of lying. Especially when it comes to exes, they usually have no intention of getting back together, so it’s better to set clear boundaries from the start.
Not thinking things like, “Maybe if they treated me better…” is part of having the confidence of someone who knows their worth—and what makes them strong in the first place. Instead of having strangers guess the reason here, if you’re friends, why not just ask the person directly?
This is a little different from situations where it’s better to say something outright, but I think the same reasoning sometimes applies in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Saraba Seishun no Hikari’s Higashibukuro, who’s apparently so popular that he got his longtime fuck buddy pregnant twice and was exposed by a weekly magazine, reportedly tells female fans who approach him wanting a relationship, “I’m not going to get a girlfriend.” I suppose the girls who are okay with that are the ones who stick around.
I think people change how they respond depending on the kind of person they want to be liked by. That popular friend of mine probably says, “I have a boyfriend,” because she doesn’t care about her ex anymore.
In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), telling a papa (a male supporter) that you have a boyfriend is generally a disadvantage. There’s a good chance you won’t become his “ace”—his favorite girl.
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