Why is it that when staff say during the offer process, “He’s a very gentlemanly man!”, he often turns out to be a guy to avoid later?

I’m Saito, a column writer♪ I often hear this from male members. And the reverse is true as well: someone may be described as a wonderful woman, but when you actually meet her… The one thing both situations have in common is that these people are popular and in a position to choose whoever they want. If you don’t meet their standards, there’s a chance they’ll simply turn you down. Personally, I pay whatever amount is requested for the first meeting, so I’m probably considered one of the “good ones.” But then I may think, “If I’m going to pay this much for her, I might as well meet someone else,” and decide not to continue. And if they try to lower the amount later, that just puts me off. These situations are really difficult, aren’t they? That’s why I think it’s very important to share information, including cases where someone turned out to be “nothing like that at all!”

I’m a male member who’s basically a lost cause. I’m short, bald, overweight, and old, but women often tell me I’m a gentleman. Still, I feel like they only say that because there’s absolutely nothing else about me they can compliment... Just once in my life, I wanted to hear, “You’re handsome♪” “You’re wonderful!” or “You’re such a hot older guy♡”... Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that the staff have a tough job too. They work incredibly hard to make arrangements for hopeless old guys like me. So please think of the phrase “gentlemanly” as meaning, “She’s a very kind and lovely woman.”

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. That’s a very good question (lol). > Are the staff calling men who make lots of offers “premium members” and “gentlemen”? > They’re so strict when evaluating women’s personalities during interviews, yet they’re unbelievably poor at judging men, aren’t they? ↑ That’s correct. You really got to the heart of the matter. Be careful about accepting offers!! Also, talk things over thoroughly with the men you meet, and only move on to the next step once you’ve reached an understanding… With that in mind, it might even be fun to enjoy dinner while checking various things and seeing how well you can lure the tanuki out.

I’m Osaka, a male member. In that case, it might be a good idea to turn down offers from anyone who uses “gentlemanly” as a keyword. If their first impression is simply aloof and shy, though, it should be fine to move forward. You can probably avoid a lot of men who are a person to avoid that way.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Hmm, for starters— > Going silent after meeting two or three times and making offers to other women… Any woman who assumes this happens because the man is “a person to avoid” is a person to avoid herself, as far as I’m concerned. People who blame everything on the other person are ugly. The fact that someone like that is passing the interviews suggests that the club isn’t scrutinizing women’s personalities very closely during the interview process either.

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this one too. Hmm… normally, it’s more like: “You’ve received an offer from Mr. ○○. He’s a gentleman who enjoys trying different restaurants.” You just go based on that, so I don’t think staff usually go out of their way to say, “He’s a really gentlemanly man!” Do you ask every time what kind of man he is? If you mean that the initial message already described him as gentlemanly, then keep in mind that when staff first meet a man, he’s also putting on his best face. So, almost every man comes across as gentlemanly. If he didn’t seem gentlemanly from the time he joined, we’d probably turn him down anyway（笑） So even if the message says he’s “gentlemanly,” that doesn’t necessarily mean the staff are personally vouching for him. Ideally, we’d also like to revise those messages based on feedback. But then a woman might say something like, “The offer message from the staff said to be careful,” and the man complains, so the original wording gets restored. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why women tell them those things. Because of situations like that, it’s become difficult to let women know when a man is someone to avoid. That’s also one reason we’re changing the review system. Right now, men can see women’s ratings—the number of stars—but I hope that someday women will be able to see men’s ratings too. Then it might be more like: “He only has one star, so I think I’ll pass.” Or: “I’m confident I can handle any man, so one star is fine. (But I should probably get my allowance before entering the room.)” If women know in advance, they can take various precautions as well.