Since there have been several questions lately about men’s behavior, I, Papuwa, thought I’d jump on the bandwagon and ask about something I remembered too.
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I’ve met quite a few different men through two branches so far, and two of them were the type to explain exactly how much the date had cost and then lecture me that, “Since I’m spending this much money, Papuwa shouldn’t complain.”
For example:
“This time, it cost ○ thousand yen for transportation, ○ ten-thousand yen for the meal, and ○ ten-thousand yen for the hotel, for a total of ○○ yen! So don’t you think Papuwa’s opinion is a little strange? (;^_^A)”
That sort of thing.
The first man was from a certain prefecture in Hokuriku, and I thought, “Surely I won’t come across someone this unpleasant very often.” But after switching branches this year, I ended up meeting another man who said similar things. It brought back memories of the first one, and I’m honestly pretty sad about it, lol.
Strangely enough, they had the following things in common: their LINE messages were extremely long, they went on and on about their personal histories, and they seemed to believe that the lower the allowance, the stronger the bond of love between the two of us would be.
I thought men from snowy regions were supposed to be quiet and patient, but this is starting to change my impression of them.
Am I the odd one here? Is it actually fairly normal for a man to disclose to a woman the breakdown of how much he spent on their arrangement?
I’m Aya, a female member.
I’ve never been told that, you know… There’s no rule saying that the lower the allowance, the stronger the bond of love. By that logic, was Grace Kelly not loved at all? That’s what I’m saying.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
We’ve never actually talked.
I do think things through and decide what seems reasonable, but maybe that man just says everything that comes to mind…
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Maezawa from the president’s office here as well.
As for how much they’re spending…
When a woman cancels, some men complain about it too. They say things like, “I’ve spent this much money on you.”
Since this is a matchmaking and arrangement-setting business, I always thought that was just something we had to put up with. But I never imagined some men actually say these things to the women themselves.
There are all kinds of men, and some are stingy and obsessed with money.
There are always a certain number of men who say things like, “Do you have any idea how hard I had to work to earn this money?”
> Is it fairly normal for a man to disclose to a woman exactly how much he spent on their relationship?
I don’t think it’s normal.
I think it’s simply something stingy men say.
When someone doesn’t have much financial leeway, they may feel compelled to tell you how difficult things have been for them.
They probably have a low income—or they’re just cheap.
I hope you can meet someone better, but that can be difficult.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
In a relationship between a man and a woman, if the other person is unhappy, the cause lies with you.
So he was the kind of man who couldn’t see it that way.
That’s not normal.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
The region where you live, Papuwa-chan, has some seriously intense sexism.
I have a friend who lives in Niigata too, and it sounds pretty tough there. It hardly feels like the same Japan…
So if you can land a good papa—ideally a generous (well-paying) papa—in the middle of all that, that would be amazing!!!
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
I think it’s the kind of thing where you’d want to say, “Well, you just gave away the game.” Surely there aren’t that many men like that, right?
I think it comes down to personal taste, but when I narrowed down the situations where even someone with that kind of tact might feel tempted to say it, one possibility came to mind.
Some women seem to approach it like a game: “How much money or how many gifts can I get out of this man?” Their only goal is to see how far they can push things or how much they can keep getting, so I feel like they don’t really think much about the man’s feelings, lol.
To varying degrees, there are plenty of questions here about how to get allowances, credit cards, or gifts more effectively, so it can be pretty scary, lol.
I can understand why a man who’s been through that might blurt it out. Though I imagine most people just say goodbye without actually saying anything, lol.
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I’m Ayase Nana♡
He really was a narrow-minded man, wasn’t he?
I live in a mountainous area, and there are so many small-minded people here. It was completely different from my hometown.
Whenever I bought something for myself, my husband’s catchphrase was, “Look at you, you’re loaded!” When I told my sister about it the other day, she said, “You should just leave him already. Enough is enough.”
The man who made an offer to you, Papuwa, must also be the kind of person whose heart is no bigger than a thumbnail.
He runs a company, yet I honestly worry about how he can get by with such a mindset.
The more rural the area, the more closed-minded people tend to be, so please be careful.
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