Lately, even when I receive an offer, the moment we meet, unless he’s really my type, I find myself thinking, “I just want to go home already…”
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Even when we go to a hotel, I get sleepy partway through.
This never happened before. That’s why this change in myself is so painful.
I’m also not really sure whether the people who made offers were genuinely interested in me…
What I really wanted was
a papa (a male supporter) who would give me an allowance through a monthly arrangement, celebrate things like my birthday, tell me I’m cute, listen to my worries, and make it easy for us both to relax around each other.
But that feels like nothing more than a pipe dream.
Maybe I’m just not cut out for a dating club anymore?
Maezawa from the president’s office here.
Could it be happening because you go to a hotel on the very first day you meet?
I’d suggest choosing Dating Type B and making the first meeting dinner only—then making the second meeting dinner only as well.
After those two meetings, you could move on to an adult relationship (intimate) only with someone you genuinely feel good about.
If you turn someone down under Type B, there’s a high chance they may accuse you of fraud, but if you’re not interested, there’s not much you can do.
When turning someone down after the second meeting, you could send something like:
“I was looking for someone who would give me a monthly allowance, celebrate things like my birthday, tell me how cute I am, listen to my worries, and make us both feel relaxed around each other. But it seems you weren’t the right person. I’m sorry.”
At the very least, they probably won’t think you committed “Dating Type fraud.”
(They may think you misunderstood the arrangement in another way, but that’s not really fraud—it’s simply a matter of expectations.)
So, if you’re not currently using Type B, I think it might be worth trying.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It sounds like you may have been idealizing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
You may be feeling a little burned out from forcing yourself to continue seeing someone.
I’d recommend taking a short break.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
> What I really want is someone who gives me a monthly allowance, celebrates things like my birthday, tells me how cute I am, listens to my problems, and with whom we can both feel relaxed around each other.
After reading your question, I get the impression that you’re probably a beautiful woman. This is something beautiful women in dating clubs often end up falling into.
I think it would be best for you to take a break from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for a while.
If you start seeing someone again—whether as a boyfriend or a papa (a male supporter)—stop seeing multiple men at the same time and focus on just one person.
I’m sure you’ll be able to see an entirely different world.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I might have ended up that way too if I didn’t have a monthly papa. It’s exhausting having to keep forcing a smile at people who aren’t your type, in short, sporadic meetings. Maybe you should take a break for a while and find a boyfriend around your age who’ll dote on you. Sorry if you already have one.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I believe that if you don’t treat the other person with care, they won’t treat you with care either. It sounds like you may be caught in a vicious cycle, so I think it would be a good idea to take a break.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
Maybe that’s what happens when you keep meeting one person after another…
It sounds like your heart is getting tired and worn down.
You should take a break for a while.
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