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Sep 21, 2021 22:27
12 answers
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m a losing male member.
I understand that this is obviously something both men and women struggle with, so during the first-meeting dinner, I end up suggesting:
“How about 3 for dinner, plus 10 for an adult relationship (intimate), for a total of 13?”
However, since then, only one woman has wanted to continue with dinner dates.
So I only have dinner with her and my ace girl.
Other
I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a column writer.
If you find adult relationships (intimate) exhausting and want to lower the allowance in exchange for keeping things easy with dinner only, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
On the other hand, if you say, “You don’t have to give me an allowance, so why don’t we just have dinner casually once in a while?” I think that could work.
The latter may seem like you’re losing out on the allowance, but it can come across as endearing to the other person, and I think it’s a valid form of “customer service.”
That said, if the papa is seeing you on the assumption that there will be an adult relationship (intimate) to begin with, he probably won’t welcome either option.
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m in Seattle.
Tell him yourself that since you’d prefer dinner only tomorrow, 1 is fine.
Other
This is Saito♪, the column writer.
I’m all for it!! LOL
If you part ways after just one of those dinner gatherings, they immediately start pressing you to make plans again, saying, “Am I no longer of any use to you?” It gets pretty overwhelming.
いっつ・みぃ
Male
Send a reverse offer to this responder
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Other
It’s Me here.
For me, intimacy isn’t the goal—it’s a means to an end.
It’s one way to make our dates enjoyable for both of us while maintaining a comfortable level of closeness.
Having intimacy every time we meet is actually more difficult for me. We might go see a play together, have a barbecue for dinner, or occasionally take a trip somewhere. It’s also nice to sit somewhere quiet and talk about the challenges we’re each dealing with at work.
That’s probably why the intimacy always feels fresh and never gets boring.
I’ve heard that some men are only interested in intimacy. But not every male member is like that, so why not have an honest conversation with your papa (a male supporter)?
If he feels the same way, things will be easy. And if he doesn’t, I think it’s important to tell him how you feel!
Other
I’m Aya, a female member.
I once made a similar suggestion to a papa (a male supporter). I messaged him on LINE, saying something like, “Next time, I’d just like to have a normal conversation♡” But he replied with something along the lines of, “I want to have sex,” so I simply ignored him lol. He had always been a gentleman, so it was disappointing, but I lost interest after that and haven’t seen him since.
So, if you want to figure out whether a papa absolutely expects sex, I think it’s best to start by casually asking a few questions.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
But what about the allowance? lol
That’s honestly the part I have to think about most. lol
On the one hand, part of me wants to look cool and offer the same allowance for dinner as I would for an adult relationship (intimate), but that also feels kind of awkward.
And then it feels embarrassing to ask, “So, would ① be okay for dinner?”
That’s the part I’m careful about.
Ideally, she’d say, “I’m fine with just dinner and no allowance!” and I could reply, “No, I’d feel bad about that, so let me give you an allowance.” But it could easily turn into, “I don’t need anything? Thanks!” So it’s a tricky situation.
Personally, if dinner is combined with some other activity or date, and going to a hotel afterward would feel unnatural—or there simply isn’t enough time—I’ll also go on a date and part ways without going to a hotel.
In other words, if it’s “dinner plus something I can only do with that particular woman,” then a date without a hotel is perfectly fine.
But if it’s just two hours of dinner and then we’re going our separate ways, I’d rather invite a female friend who’s happy to just have dinner with me. It’s more relaxed that way.
Other
I’m Osaka, a male member.
As long as we’re both enjoying ourselves, I don’t see a problem. It depends on how close the two of you are, but a lot of men would probably be happy to hear that simply meeting is enough.
That said, it kills the mood if you say the allowance is the same either way, or demand at least a certain amount even just to meet—so use the service wisely.
Other
Make plans for a regular date, then say, “Oh, but I’ll probably have my period that day, so how about we just have dinner for a change?”
If he suggests meeting another day, he probably isn’t interested in a dinner-only date.
Think it through.
Marika
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
If things are currently adult relationship (intimate) every time you meet, it might be difficult.
Men who mainly see B-type women probably already have dinner dates from time to time—or even fairly often. With men who mainly see C-type women, I think most of them have an adult relationship (intimate) every time once things progress to that stage.
Still, if you meet frequently, you could try telling him things like, “I’d like to go out somewhere,” “I want to see a movie,” or “I’d love to take a long drive.”
P.S.
Girls often go on dinner dates regardless of their type.
Even with a C-type woman—or any type, really—it’s nice to be asked to meet for dinner only (no intimacy). In that case, I’ll ask, “Would dinner only be okay?” But if it comes across that she wants to meet even without an allowance, I find myself wanting to see her. Of course, I wouldn’t actually meet without an allowance… Still, it’s nice when someone is willing to meet based on that kind of trust.
From a man’s perspective, since the allowance is also involved, it’s hard to invite a woman out for dinner only unless you’ve been meeting at least once a week. So I think it’s fine for women to feel things out or drop hints during their usual dates. The man will probably have a hard time figuring out exactly what she means.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
Sometimes I meet a woman for dinner only (no intimacy) and we go our separate ways without having sex. I enjoy it for what it is, but a few days later, I’ll suddenly find myself unusually horny.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from “The President’s Office” here.
If you always meet for dinner and then go to a hotel, I imagine you wouldn’t want to meet for dinner only. You probably enjoy having dinner, but also want to go to the hotel.
On the other hand, wouldn’t you feel less interested if you were asked to meet at the hotel without dinner?