The papa I’ve only just started seeing keeps telling me to treat him because his birthday is next month. I initially thought he was joking, but since he says it every time we meet, I’m starting to think he’s serious.
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Honestly, he’s quite self-centered and offers a low allowance, so I don’t really want to spend much money or effort on him.
Many of the male respondents here seem to say that “the thought is enough,” but realistically, how much do papas expect women to spend on a restaurant or birthday celebration for them?
I’m Dai, a male member.
I haven’t told her my birthday in the first place.
Once you’re in your 40s or older, I just don’t understand the idea that birthdays are something to celebrate.
Would it be going too far to say that, in a sense, I’ve taken another step toward the finish line?
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I honestly can’t imagine a situation where a woman would treat a man who’s probably about 20 years older than her… Is he expecting a home-cooked meal at her place?
If you want to continue seeing him, how about a casual lunch course?
Still, wouldn’t the man feel embarrassed watching you take out your wallet at the restaurant? I suppose he doesn’t mind since he’s the one asking for it, though.
Marika
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
Since I’m giving her an allowance, I don’t need her to do things that money can basically buy.
What makes me happy—and what I remember—is when she does things money can’t buy.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
That papa sounds so irritating just hearing about him. I’d break things off if I were you. What’s the point of having a high-risk relationship with a married older man and even having to spend money on him?
I recently gave the papa I’ve been seeing for four years a gift worth around ¥50,000, but that’s because he’s given me several million yen over the years. I don’t think I could have done that after only a short time.
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I’ll answer as Maezawa from the CEO’s office as well.
If he’s the one bringing it up, he must really want it. I imagine he suggested going out for a meal because there’s nothing he particularly wants as a gift—or anything he does want would be expensive.
He may have mentioned it because he feels you probably wouldn’t celebrate his birthday otherwise. Since he doesn’t have anyone else to celebrate with, I think he’d be happy if you went along with his request.
> To be honest, he’s pretty self-centered and is a low-paying papa, so I don’t really want to spend much money or effort on him.
If that’s how you feel, then I think it might be nice to celebrate him at Takano Fruit Parlour, with just a touch of playful meanness.
At the Shinjuku main branch, they have a 95th Anniversary Course, which might work:
- Aperitif
*Alcohol service is currently suspended.*
- Antipasto
- Persimmon and fig soup
- Roast beef and grilled autumn fruits
- Assorted fruits
- A palette featuring autumn fruits
- Chilled dessert
- Coffee, tea, or café au lait
It’s ¥4,620 per person.
It may be a little expensive for dessert, but it would still come to under ¥10,000 for two, so I think it might just be manageable. The fact that you need a reservation is a bit of a hassle, though.
The only slightly mean part is that you’d kind of stand out eating there（笑）.
Personally, I love sweets, so I wouldn’t care what anyone else thought.
> In reality, what kind of restaurant or celebration do papas generally expect from women for their birthdays?
Normally, I think a heartfelt gesture is enough. Just bringing a cake, like Kazu suggested, might be a good idea. You could eat it together in his room, after all.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
That would kind of kill the mood, wouldn’t it? It’s disappointing to hear. It’s not something you should demand, but from the man’s perspective, I kind of feel like he might be testing your feelings, lol. He may even come back having added up all those expenses.
Personally, I’m happy when someone celebrates me or puts thought into doing something for me.
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I’m in Seattle.
I’ve never asked for material things. Words like “I love you,” a massage, things like that are enough for me. Of course, I’d be happy even with a $1 cake. I don’t want him to spend money.
Allowance from a stingy papa − birthday presents = your spare time.
If you don’t have a backup, use the above balance to decide.
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I’m Nana Ayase♡
Kazu, that sounds like a great idea.
Since the man I’m seeing was born in the same month as me, I was thinking of doing something small for him. He loves sweets♡, so I’m sure he’d be happy.
As for your question (汗): his allowance is low, and he’s self-centered. Isn’t the answer already clear to you?
If you don’t have any other offers, maybe you could make him a home-cooked meal or something—beef tongue stew, perhaps?
Sorry, that’s just because I want some myself (*´﹃｀*)
If you don’t like it, you can simply say goodbye. Don’t force yourself and make yourself sick. Your health is more important.
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I’m a male member—and definitely the one who gets the short end of the stick.
I don’t accept anything, and I turn it down.
I tell them that just getting a LINE message saying, “Congrats on becoming a papa♡” is more than enough.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Her comment, “My birthday is next month, so you should treat me,” made it clear how self-centered she was.
I declined birthday celebrations and presents, but one woman I’m still seeing bought a cake that cost about ¥1,000 per slice and surprised me with it. She knows my tastes, so it was exactly the kind of cake I’d like. It was delicious—better than I expected.
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