Why do the girls I become close to suddenly disappear? I feel so uncomfortable. At my age, I’m at rock bottom.
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It’s been about four weeks and three days.
The girls who never voice their dissatisfaction suddenly disappear. If I did something hurtful, I can’t realize it unless they tell me. This is the second time it’s happened. In particular, since I don’t have a daughter, I seem to be bad at reading the expressions of women young enough to be my son’s age.
But I can’t bring myself to find girls who voice their dissatisfaction cute. It’s a contradiction.
How can I become better at noticing a woman’s dissatisfaction?
She was always smiling, so I must have made her put up with things. I did my best to be considerate in my own way, but I think I may also have taken her kindness for granted.
I can’t forget that smile.
I’m Aya, a female member.
There’s no convenient world where women who never voice their dissatisfaction, patiently put up with things, and remain refined and kind will keep falling for you.
I think the only thing you can do is keep improving yourself as a good papa—constantly reflecting on your behavior, maintaining a clean and polished appearance, and avoiding being overly clingy with women. The wonderful women in papa-katsu are already doing these things themselves.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If she suddenly disappeared, it means you weren’t as close as you thought.
That’s just lingering attachment, so move on as soon as you can.
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I’m Date ◎ Yume, a male member.
Relationships between men and women can be complicated, can’t they? I wasn’t blessed with a daughter of my own, but the women I date are adorable（笑）
Anyway, since women receive an allowance, there are probably things they put up with.
We’re more than 40 years apart, so there are plenty of things we don’t understand about each other. That’s why we make a point of talking things through:
“What do you think of this?”
“How do you feel about this?”
“I’d like to do things this way, but…”
Even using a little spare time to communicate openly can help you understand how she thinks, so I recommend it.
Why not give it a try next time?
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I’m a losing male member.
Reading between the lines, I get the feeling that you must have repeatedly done things the woman you were seeing didn’t like. It even made me want to make her an offer myself.
She must be a really good woman.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
If your prediction of the kind of answers your question would receive was off, why not read through both the question and the answers a few more times?
That said, I did get a little laugh out of the final sentence after the large line break. Sorry if that wasn’t intentional.
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You can see hints of his self-centeredness just from reading this.
Maybe what comforts you while you act like you’re reflecting is your own arrogance.
—Akari
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It may be because you became too close.
The greater the age gap, the more important it is to maintain an appropriate distance.
Also, I get the feeling that he may simply prefer quiet, reserved women—the kind who smile modestly no matter what you say.
Marika
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I’m in Seattle.
If you find a woman wonderful, other men will feel the same way too.
You need something that will keep her interested and committed. I’ll take that to heart and do my best as well.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
You already have your answer. So eliminate, as thoroughly as possible, every concern that might make him reluctant. In other words, you’re not putting in enough effort or exercising enough patience.
This is simply the way things have turned out.
A man’s desires and a woman’s hopes are often inversely proportional, after all.
No one is very good at taking an honest look at their own situation.
But life is a drama that never gets rerun. The second half always starts now. If you want to move forward without regrets, the questioner first needs to make up their mind.
Then make your next offer and create your next drama.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I sometimes tell my partners things like, “If something’s bothering you, I might not notice unless you tell me, so please let me know,” or “Are you unhappy with your allowance?”
If they still don’t tell me anything and then disappear, I try to accept it by assuming either that they found an exceptionally generous papa (a male supporter), or that they stopped doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for some reason.
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