A papa (a male supporter) I’ve only recently gone on my first date with told me he wants to have a serious relationship with me.
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Is it okay to take him seriously? Is it because he thinks it’s a waste to give me money every time we meet…? We do have a great time talking, and we click so well that I feel we might have dated if we’d met under ordinary circumstances. I told him that I’d like to keep things as they are for now, but I’m still wondering whether people really do come to feel that way in these situations.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
If the man you’re seeing is married, I think it’s still possible to genuinely pursue a relationship with him—with an allowance involved, of course, and strictly as part of a club arrangement.
Getting fully immersed and enjoying it like a kind of simulated romance is one of the appeals of a dating club, so you may not need to hold yourself back too much.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
> Can I really take something like this seriously?
Men may actually mean it more seriously than you’d expect. However, that can still end with them not giving you an allowance.
Their reasoning is something like: “If this is a genuine relationship, it’s strange for an allowance to be involved.”
But a relationship is still a relationship. Men can genuinely date multiple women at the same time.
Sometimes, “he’s serious about me” doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the only one.
So I think it’s fine to agree to a serious relationship, but even if he’s sincere, you should still make sure you receive your allowance.
If he doesn’t like the idea of an allowance, you could say:
“Then support me.”
If he’s serious, it seems reasonable to ask him to support you.
If you really want to proceed without an allowance, think about whether you’d be willing to marry him, and ask whether he’s considering things that seriously as well.
You could also confirm whether he’d at least be willing to meet and greet your parents.
If it’s a serious relationship, he should be able to meet your parents too, right?
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
“If things are fine as they are for now…”
I think that’s perfectly okay.
Whether it’s a serious relationship or not will gradually become clear as you spend more time together.
Enjoy!
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think being in a relationship and giving an allowance are two separate matters. Being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean there’s no allowance involved.
Wouldn’t it be better to first clarify what the man means when he says he wants to “seriously date” you, and then decide how you feel about it?
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If “being in a relationship” means seeing each other as lovers rather than as a young boyfriend and girlfriend, then wouldn’t an allowance be involved?
It’s not that everyone is trying to cheap out on the allowance.
I think some people offer an allowance precisely to maintain a clear boundary.
For now, replying that you’d like to keep things as they are is a safe choice.
In any case, I’m glad you found a man you really click with!
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I’m a male member, and a loser at this sort of thing.
That papa’s feelings may well be genuine. I’m a sucker for someone myself.
But he’s probably just looking to get it for free.
You can feel plenty of affection even when money is involved.
Saying that money between you makes things awkward is just an excuse to get it for free.
The more I like someone, the more I want to pay for her. When I don’t feel much affection, I’m much less willing to open my wallet.
Why would I offer more money to someone I don’t even like?
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Wouldn’t you figure out that mystery right away if you gave it a try? If it’s bothering you, why not try seeing her once?
If I were single, I think I’d seriously confess my feelings to a woman I met here.
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