Sometimes I think that, rather than focusing on size, men should focus on enjoying themselves, pleasing their partner, and making sure both people have a truly satisfying experience.

I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a column writer. It would be nice if all women were like you, but unfortunately, that’s not how the world works. Some people would rather just get it over with quickly and be with someone who pays them. I believe men should make an effort to maintain a good appearance so that women can feel more positive, like you do. As for technique, I think the world is flooded with inaccurate information about sex. Even when it comes to masturbation techniques, there’s still a lot of misinformation out there. The reason opinions like yours are emerging is that these days, men everywhere are increasingly having sex with the goal of making women climax. But sex is supposed to begin before that point. I believe it’s very important for both people to enjoy themselves.

I understand what you mean. In that sense, all of my papas are good men. But that’s because, after receiving lots of offers and meeting different people, only those I’m compatible with and genuinely like have remained. So, first, make an effort to receive plenty of offers. Then, develop the judgment to recognize who suits you. And finally, make an effort to keep things going with the people you click with. If you do that for a year or so, you’ll gradually be left with only the kind papas you personally like—men who love intimacy. I think it’s difficult to expect a fully grown man to change. Marika

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. You’re absolutely right. And, as you pointed out, I’m sure a lot of what you said applies to me as well. At its core, I believe sex exists for women, and that men seek it in order to satisfy and please them. No—I think that’s how it should be. (Since sex is for women, I’d almost feel like I should be the one getting paid for it… I believe I mentioned that in my answer to a previous question.)

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I understand exactly what you mean. I think about it all the time, too. But no—I end up going too soon! (lol) I’ll do my best to hold out longer. (lol)

Osaka here, a male member. I think it really depends on each person’s style, but maybe it’s less about words and more like having a conversation with your bodies. Perhaps that’s what we generally call chemistry. Some men think their “specs”—their technique, special tricks, or size—are what matter. I used to think that way too. But when I asked women about it in more detail, they said they gradually get more into it when they feel cared for—for example, when a man is gentle, notices their reactions, and quickly stops or changes what he’s doing if he realizes they’re not comfortable with something. So maybe it’s more about being able to read your partner and keep the interaction flowing naturally, like a good back-and-forth conversation. When you prepare everything you’re going to say in advance, a conversation doesn’t really take off, does it? I think it’s something like that. Sorry if I’m wrong lol People who are pleasant to talk to are usually good at watching the other person’s reactions and responding flexibly, so I think that also ties into being considerate. I also get excited when a woman gradually becomes more sensual, so maybe it’s simply a matter of having that particular preference lol

I’m Dai, a male member. I completely understand how you feel. However, when inexperienced men try too hard, they can end up being overly rough with their fingers. People often say that watching too much porn is the problem, but the way they watch it can be an issue too. They may fast-forward through the scenes where the male performer takes his time with foreplay, watching only the rough fingering and squirting… Please, really, stop inserting and moving your fingers around when she isn’t even wet yet. That kind of trauma can make a woman afraid of fingering.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well. I understand how you feel, but please just try to be considerate of each other—that should be enough. When someone tells you to “try harder to make me feel good,” some people might think, “Umm…” Honestly, I do think things tend to go more smoothly when you’re that attentive, but maybe tone it down a little. That said, I understand what you mean. With women who are especially responsive, men often automatically switch into full-power mode anyway.

I’m a losing male member. I’m sure my coordinator at Universe Club knows this better than anyone, but I put more than my very best effort into the process leading up to an adult relationship (intimate) every time. There’s a comment section when you send a setting offer, and I agonize over what to write. If there’s anything else I want to communicate, I have the club pass it along. Getting everything ready before the first date is a battle in itself. I specialize in Type B, so I consider the first date to be foreplay in itself. I visit the date location by the day before and run through all kinds of simulations. I use scent as one of my weapons, so I let her catch a subtle whiff of me before the meal. That’s foreplay too. You shouldn’t overdo the cologne, but smelling like an old man is out of the question, so it’s part of my routine to shower somewhere close to the date location. I’ll even book a hotel just to use the shower. That’s how I arrive at the adult date. On the day itself, I listen carefully to her over dinner, let her get everything off her chest, help her relax, and undress her emotionally before we go into the room. I’ll skip the details since this is already getting long, but I want to settle the matter as much as possible before touching her nipples or private parts. I start touching from as far away as possible, gradually work my way toward the main event, gently touch her nipples and private parts, and won’t—or rather, don’t want to—penetrate until she’s had several orgasms from external stimulation. I’m not exactly well-endowed, haha. So I get pretty flustered when she’s the type who can only orgasm from internal stimulation... I don’t really care whether I finish or not. In fact, with a condom on, it’s not easy for me to finish even if she’s exceptionally skilled, so as long as she keeps having orgasms, I’m perfectly fine with not finishing at all. The problem is that she might end up thinking, “My body wasn’t enough to satisfy him.” So I desperately try to finish while imagining my favorite AV actresses. That’s basically how it goes. If I were a handsome older guy with a reasonably sized, firm penis, I wouldn’t have to work this hard. But as an unattractive, small-penised, creepy older man, every date with a woman is something of a battle. ■Update If the questioner and I were to have an adult relationship (intimate), I’d handle everything from the first date up until touching her nipples and clitoris. Then, at the crucial moment—penetration—I’d hand things over to Mr. Big-Penis Mac, saying, “Professor, please take over.”