What would you think if I turned down an adult relationship during an overnight trip? I’m going on a birthday trip soon with my papa, whom I’ve been seeing for almost a year. But lately, I really dislike him. I honestly don’t even want to go on the trip. Still, it was planned back when I didn’t dislike him yet (I didn’t like him either, though), so I’m going.
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The reasons I started disliking him are that he nearly killed me with a choking move during BDSM, and that he lowered my allowance. We’ve been seeing each other for a year but have only had an intimate relationship three times, and my allowance has gradually gone down from 8 to 7 to 6. Our full-day dates started at 3, but now they’re only 1. He’s probably the type of person who lowers the amount once he thinks you’ve become close (or at least he mistakenly thinks you have).
That kind of thing has also made me start disliking him. It bothers me even more that he thinks we’re incredibly close.
He’s also very small, about the size of a thumb, and because it’s pointed and curves downward, it hurts like crazy. So I’m thinking of turning down an adult relationship on this trip. Of course, we had an adult relationship the last time I traveled with my papa.
From a papa’s perspective, how would you feel if you were turned down during a woman’s birthday trip? Would you think she had started to dislike you?
If he asks why I’m turning him down, I’m thinking of saying, “Because you keep lowering my allowance, ○○. I wouldn’t be with anyone for the amount you gave me last time. (I usually get 7 from any man.)”
I’ll answer as Maezawa from the president’s office as well.
If you’ve come to dislike him, I think you should cancel the trip, even if you agreed to it before you started feeling this way.
I also think you should explain your reasons clearly.
You could send something like:
“You gradually reduced my allowance from 80,000 to 70,000 to 60,000 yen, so I can’t continue seeing you. You initially offered 30,000 yen for an all-day date, but now it’s only 10,000, and I can’t accept that either. I won’t be going on the trip, and I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Then block him.
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I’m SHingo Lee, a column writer.
It looks like things are already coming to an end, so I don’t think you need to worry about it. Tell them that something came up and ask to cancel the trip. Once you’ve confirmed that it’s been canceled, tell them you won’t be able to meet anymore.
Also, if someone is genuinely at risk of dying during choking play, they’re doing it wrong in the first place. Basically, choking play involves adjusting blood flow or reducing oxygen—not cutting it off completely—so…
Please give the staff feedback that they’re teaching choking play incorrectly and could genuinely end up killing someone.
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This is Nana Ayase♡
I don’t understand why you put up with it for so long.
Wouldn’t it have been better to contact the staff as soon as you felt you might be killed, then block and delete him?
For the trip, make up an important commitment and decline. Please contact the staff right away and leave feedback.
I feel like I saw a similar question just the other day.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
So, if your allowance is restored or increased, wouldn’t you accept after all?
Somehow, it feels like you’ll end up going anyway. Just make sure you don’t find yourself feeling empty the next morning at breakfast, scooping scrambled eggs and thinking, “What am I doing on my birthday?”
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I’m a male member—a total loser.
I can’t understand what goes on in the head of a papa who wants to have an adult relationship on a woman’s birthday trip. More importantly, trying to meet her or take her on a trip on her birthday is simply bad manners.
I want to say this to all papas: don’t ask the woman you’re seeing to meet on her birthday or Christmas Eve.
If a woman said to you, “I want to stay overnight with you for your birthday,” wouldn’t that put you in an awkward position?
Women feel the same way. They may want to see their boyfriend, so it’s basic papa etiquette to be considerate and avoid meeting them on their birthday or Christmas Eve.
Why would you want to make a woman shut her heart to you? That’s what I think.
Since it’s normal for women to have multiple papas, I’ve actually told someone I was keeping around:
“Go meet the papa who wants to see you on your birthday and get a generous allowance from him. I’ll celebrate with you the week before or after.”
It’s a little cheesy, isn’t it? Yes, it is. But isn’t putting on a brave face one of a papa’s most important jobs? By doing that, you might even have a chance at turning it into genuine love someday. (A bit calculating, I know.)
To the person who asked this question: cancel the trip and block him. A good papa naturally wants to increase the allowance as he grows closer to the woman he’s seeing and his feelings deepen. Someone who tries to lower the allowance is not a good papa. I could understand it if you had fallen for him and asked him to lower it yourself, though.
There’s no future blossoming with this papa. You’ll just end up stranded alone in the desert, so say goodbye.
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