Is it risky to tell a man who says, “You’re the only papa I have,” how many offers I’ve received?

I’m a male member—and a losing player. The more offers she gets, the more fired up I become. So generally speaking, it’s fine to tell him that she’s receiving lots of offers. Lots of offers = a beautiful woman everyone wants. That’s why I’m worried that this papa might be a bit emotionally unstable. One of the women I was keeping an eye on was getting an insane number of offers, so before we went on an adult date (intimate), I proposed a fixed arrangement, went all in, and made her exclusive. The tricky part is that if you offer a major arrangement, she may try to cancel an already scheduled meeting or even leave the club. So lately, when a promising new woman joins, I’ve shifted to a strategy of waiting and making my move later, like playing rock-paper-scissors after seeing the other person’s hand. The club needs to make money too, or the whole system won’t be sustainable.

It’s Me I don’t really understand why some men are put off when they hear a woman gets a lot of offers. You know, women who are so attractive that every man they pass turns to look at them, or women who get flooded with offers at a dating club. Whether it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or real life, any man would want to date a woman like that, right? > But on the other hand, wouldn’t that make him feel responsible for supporting her because, out of all the men around, she chose him—and there’s always a chance she could be taken by another man…? What do you think? Exactly!

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. “Out of all the men out there, I chose you, so you should support me.” That doesn’t really seem like a reason to support someone, does it? I’d find it much more acceptable to say, “Because the person asking gives him something in return, he wants to support her as a thank-you.”

Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer as well. > Would it be risky to say, “I’ve received ○○ offers,” since I’ve received more than twice that number? If you’ve already said, “I turned down the next ○ people who made offers,” then I don’t think it would be particularly strange to mention that you had received offers before them as well. > Wouldn’t she interpret it as meaning that there must be some problem if I haven’t been seeing anyone else? I don’t think she would see it that way. You’ve already explained, “It’s because I said I would support you,” so the reason is clear, and I don’t think there’s anything strange about it. > On the other hand, knowing that she chose me out of all those men—and that there’s always a possibility she could be taken by someone else—might make me feel responsible enough to support her. That might be true at this stage. However, if she has chosen to focus on one person, then the possibility of her being taken by another man is zero, so I don’t think you would feel that much responsibility. If that possibility matters to you, then seeing multiple people would create a relationship with the tension of possibly being taken by someone else, allowing the two of you to maintain a more equal footing. When she focuses on just one person, I think more men tend to try to create a superior-subordinate dynamic, like, “I’m giving you ○○万円, you know.” Also, since the questioner would be worried about their lifestyle if they were cut off, they would likely put up with more things and become more submissive, making the relationship less equal. If she sees multiple men, you can build a more equal relationship where either person can say, “Then we can just break up.” Also, if she turned down 20 men this time, those 20 men probably wouldn’t make offers when she resumes. She should also consider that she may wonder how many offers she’ll receive then—or whether she’ll receive any at all.

I’m Hikōki, a male member. If you really have only one papa and the bond between you two is strong, then it won’t be a problem no matter how you put it. It will all work in your favor. However, with the man described in your post, it would probably be better not to say it, since it sounds like your bond is still developing. To begin with, the words: “You’re the only papa I have” are completely unnecessary if there’s already a relationship of trust. If that’s genuinely the case, I don’t think you need to say it very often. For a man like me, who would think, “Out of all those men, she chose me,” there’s no thought of: “She could be taken away by another man at any time.” Instead, it becomes a calm, reassuring relationship where both of you naturally feel that you have a responsibility toward each other. You won’t simply abandon each other, and it won’t just end.