I’d like to hear more about Aya’s feeling that “it’s precisely because she has such dark feelings toward her papas that she can be kind and humble.”
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https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/8404
This is the question I’m referring to.
I’m a female member.
While I don’t always agree with the answers from other people, I always find myself relating to Aya’s answers.
I’m impressed by how she can write about women’s true feelings and get to the heart of things, probably because of all the experiences she’s had in the nightlife industry (my apologies if I’m mistaken) and papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
To get to the point, what does it mean that contempt and hatred toward the men she dates allow her to interact with them humbly?
At the moment, I’m also doing this kind of activity for the money.
If I had been able to live without financial worries from birth, I never would have wanted to do this.
Honestly, I feel like I’m working hard to earn money while putting up with clumsy sex from unattractive older men I don’t even like.
I’m sure some people will say, “This isn’t the adult-entertainment business, so if you don’t like someone, just cut him off,” but even when I hate it, I can’t cut them off because I need the money.
The idea that it’s different from the adult-entertainment business is how men see it; to me, it’s like adult entertainment with meals included and no time limit.
I don’t have the emotional or financial breathing room right now, so that’s all I can think about.
I hate it, but I can earn money efficiently through Universe Club.
Unlike the adult-entertainment business, I can set a high allowance myself, and I can earn money in a shorter period than I could at a club or hostess bar.
I have various circumstances that require money, so I can’t quit right now.
I hate all the men I date. They’re dirty, and sex doesn’t feel good at all. It’s an ordeal where I hold my breath, hoping it will end quickly, while pretending to enjoy myself in bed.
Before meeting a man, I get such bad stomachaches because I don’t want to go, and I head to the meeting place while repeating things like “I wish he’d die” and “He’s so disgusting” in my head.
But once I actually meet him, I’m able to completely play the role of a nice woman.
When I see his face, even though I’m thinking, “Am I doing this for the money?” and secretly wishing he’d die, I find myself trying to enjoy the time and even trying to grow fond of him.
If anything, I’m able to treat him with genuine respect.
At the time, I can honestly feel grateful, thinking, “Thank you for spending this much money on me.”
After we part, I can immediately send a heartfelt thank-you message.
But an hour later, I’m back to thinking, “You’re so freaking disgusting. Just die.”
I don’t even understand why I’m able to switch my feelings so completely.
If I could understand what drives me, I feel like I could work harder at my dating-club activities and reach another level—meaning I might be able to have a wonderful relationship with an even more wonderful man.
Sorry for the long post.
I’d be happy to hear answers from anyone besides Aya as well.
I’m Aya, one of the female members.
I’m glad you could relate, and thank you. I think you and I have some similarities, but also some differences.
Men are generally kind, so unless they do something truly awful, I don’t think, “I hope you die.” There was one man I turned down because I absolutely couldn’t have an intimate relationship with him, and he treated me terribly afterward. I remember thinking, “What the hell?” But even then, my feeling was probably more like, “This pathetic old man got so desperate over a woman… I wonder if I hurt his pride.” Almost as if I felt sorry for him.
In that sense, I don’t see these men as my equals—I think I look down on them somewhere deep down. That’s awful, I know… but don’t women who work in the nightlife industry tend to become that way? If you like men *too* much, you can’t get paid just for talking to them, right? I felt that even more strongly after I started working at a lounge.
Also, my papa believes he’s the only papa I have, and he says things like, “If you ever betrayed me, I’d lose faith in people.” So part of me thinks, “If my papas ever found out the truth about me, they’d be deeply hurt… I’m sorry.” Imagining them hurt does make me kinder toward them.
To put it nicely, perhaps they believe they’re the only papa because I give each of them my whole heart. But in reality, I’m no different from men who proudly claim, “I can be kind to my wife because I’m cheating on her.”
Being adored by my papas makes me kinder out of guilt—“I’m sorry, even though I have other papas too.” Sorry for being so blunt. I hope you’re able to enjoy papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) without too much stress.
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I’m a male member here, paper plane.
Whether it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), work, or even relationships with siblings and family, it’s perfectly understandable to feel that way or harbor resentment.
I hope the day comes when those feelings are resolved and you can look back and feel that your experiences—good and bad—have helped shape who you are today.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I’m always thinking about how to avoid getting involved with women like you, the person asking the question.
You’d probably do quite well in the adult entertainment industry, and you’d likely make money more efficiently that way.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
That’s just how work is. That’s just how making money is.
Getting customers to pay up—that’s how it works, isn’t it?
Is that a bad thing? No. Anyone who works hard is admirable in their own right.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ll answer the parts I can.
> I know people will say, “This isn’t the adult entertainment business, so if you don’t like it, just end things,” but I can’t cut them off because I need the money.
> Saying it’s different from the adult entertainment business is a male perspective. To me, it’s adult entertainment with meals and no time limit.
Choosing not to cut things off for the money is the questioner’s choice. You’re the one turning it into adult entertainment with meals.
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I’m a male member—and a total loser.
I thought, “That’s exactly how it is.” I’m seeing more than ten women, but I’ve always assumed that about eight of them probably think of me the same way you do.
That’s why, thinking “at least I can give them a decent allowance,” I pay more than the going rates at Universe and make as few demands on the women as possible.
I arrange private dining rooms, and when we’re out in public, we go our separate ways. I don’t even get overly touchy in private. Right before each date, I pay a part-time worker to check me for body odor and bad breath. I do everything I can before meeting them. I would never be rough or aggressive with them. Even so, they probably still think, “Just die,” though.
I’m calm enough that when a woman says, “I want to see you♪” or “I’m looking forward to seeing you♡,” my brain automatically translates it as, “I want my allowance♪” or “I’m looking forward to getting my allowance♡.” The only one who probably doesn’t mean it that way is my favorite girl.
This may not really answer your question, but I think it’s perfectly natural for you to feel that way. If I were a young, handsome guy doing mama-katsu, I’d probably feel the same. I might even rely on medication despite being young, just to get something going that wouldn’t otherwise. I might not go so far as to think, “That damn old hag should die,” but I’m not sure I’d feel grateful either. I’d definitely be thinking, “What am I even doing?”
I’m not going to criticize you for being unable to quit papa-katsu. These are difficult times for women trying to support themselves.
That said, some papas are handsome young men, and there are also attractive older men in their 40s who radiate adult charm. In fact, one of the women I’m seeing told me she used to date a woman who had fallen in love with her papa and even offered to refuse her allowance herself.
*Apparently, she continued accepting the allowance because the papa wanted her to.*
I’d love to have a truly dark conversation with a woman like you, with Aya there as well. It sounds like it would be an incredibly valuable learning opportunity for a papa.
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