I’m the person who previously posted, “This isn’t really a question, but…”
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Today, the woman I’ve been seeing contacted me to say that she had withdrawn from the club because she’s decided to see just one person and therefore wouldn’t accept any more offers, even if she received them. (We’re planning an overnight date tomorrow.)
At present, we have a pay-per-meeting arrangement of 80,000 yen, three times a month, and I give her an additional allowance for overnight stays and trips. From now on, I’d like to show her my appreciation even more.
So my question is: for those of you with more experience, how much allowance do you think would be appropriate in this situation? For reference, I’m over 70 and she’s 22. I don’t know how many more years I’ll be able to continue, but she tells me she’ll stay with me for the long term. I was quite the ladies’ man and enjoyed myself when I was younger, but I lost my wife a few years ago. Wanting to enjoy the rest of my life as much as possible, I joined the club—and that’s where I met her.
I’m a male member, and honestly, I’m one of the less successful guys.
In my case, I’d probably pay 240,000 yen upfront and set up a half-month arrangement.
Then I’d suggest:
- Two adult relationships (intimate)
- One date without intimacy, such as an overnight or day trip
If she’s someone I really value, I’d give her the adult-relationship allowance even on the no-intimacy date. It makes her happy.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Personally, I think it might be a good idea to look for one more woman like her.
It would be great if she really were exclusive to you, but there’s also a good chance that isn’t the case.
This is just a pastime, after all, so try to enjoy it casually without letting yourself get hurt.
I don’t think there’s any particular need to increase her allowance.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, and I’ll answer this one too.
> How much allowance do you think I should give in this situation?
I’m not sure why you need to ask when things are already going well. If it’s working, I think the current allowance is fine.
If you want to give more, why not try offering three times as much?
The Red Comet is three times faster, after all. (laughs)
Still, that’s a strange thing to ask.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
That sounds wonderful. My papas are in their 40s and 50s, but I hope I can keep seeing them even when they turn 70, as long as they’re still as energetic as you are.
Your monthly allowance is probably around ¥250,000, which seems just right. When I was seeing my current papa on a pay-per-meeting basis at first, I received about that much as well. I remember him saying, “It wouldn’t feel right to give you too much right from the start,” and us agreeing to keep it around that amount.
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I’m “Paper Airplane,” a male member.
Sounds like you’re really enjoying life.
A senior friend of mine is over 70 and around the same age as you. He’s more youthful, has better-looking skin, and is more energetic than his younger brother, who’s about ten years younger. He still has the energy to charm everyone from women he meets at family restaurants to flight attendants, and he always gives me a boost of energy too.
Are you also that youthful and energetic?
If so, I think it would be best to limit any increase to roughly what you’re already providing.
Even if that assumption doesn’t apply to you, I’d still recommend keeping the increase fairly modest.
The reason is that, with women from dating clubs, making a large upfront investment of money—unlike in ordinary dating or romance—doesn’t really have any effect or meaning. Once she has received a large sum, she may feel that she has already achieved her goal, and in the worst case, she may consider you no longer necessary. She might even stop seeing any reason to meet you.
Wouldn’t it be better to give her smaller amounts regularly, each with a specific reason?
And when she has a clear, genuine need, I think it’s best to help her out.
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This is exactly the kind of couple that shows what dating clubs are all about.
As for the allowance, I’ll leave that to those with more experience than me.
Wishing you both happiness.
Marika
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Senior, you’re doing well!
I’m in my sixties. For health reasons, I’ve retired from married life, but I’m still active and wondering how many more years I’ll be able to continue.
My partner is also in her early twenties, and she says, “An older guy is reassuring.” (（笑）)
Anyway, your partner sounds quite savvy too.（笑）
In this case, I’d keep your general support at the same level. Then, adding a little premium and giving it to her like a tip on special occasions would probably make her happy.
In my case, whenever there’s a payment to be made, I often take out a little extra and give her the remainder.
For example, after a trip, you could say, “I had such a great time this time, so here’s a little extra,” and hand her another envelope.
As for the maximum amount, I think it’s fine to give her whatever you happen to have in your wallet at the time.（笑）
I hope you both enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I’m hardly in a position to advise someone with far more experience, but whenever I’m unsure what to do, I try to adapt to the other person’s values and wishes at that point in time.
I ask about what they want at the moment, then tell them, “If your wishes about the nature of our relationship or the allowance change in the future, or if there’s anything you need, feel free to tell me anything at any time.” Once I’ve created an environment where they feel comfortable saying whatever they want, I leave everything up to them. I feel that helps prevent the relationship from ending.
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