On my first date after receiving an offer, he put me in his car shortly after we met and drove quite a distance to a café far away. Since we had arranged to meet around lunchtime, I assumed we would have lunch, but he said, “I’ve already eaten, so go ahead and eat if you’re hungry.” It felt awkward to have a full meal in front of him, but I was hungry, so I had a cake set instead.
After we talked at the café for about an hour, he asked, “Are you still okay for time?” He then drove me to a love hotel.
Up to that point, he had never checked what I wanted. However, he gave me his business card shortly after we met, and when I told him I wasn’t planning to have an adult relationship (after arriving at the love hotel, we ordered food and drinks and talked for about one or two hours, so around three hours had passed by the time he tried to move things in that direction), he accepted that immediately and drove me back to where we had first met. So I thought perhaps he wasn’t a bad person. However, he had been driving under the influence. I feel responsible for not stopping him from drinking and driving.
Even though we didn’t have an adult relationship, he gave me more than transportation costs—presumably the allowance he had prepared in case we did—and I felt bad accepting it.
Although I don’t think he’s necessarily a bad person, there were several things that concerned me, and I’m unsure whether I should continue seeing him.
If you’re a woman, would you continue meeting him?
If you’re a man, do you see any problems with this man’s behavior?
Thank you for your answers.
Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer as well.
Drunk driving results in immediate expulsion.
A car can become a deadly weapon when driven under the influence. It’s dangerous.
Universe does not tolerate drunk driving.
Drunk driving is absolutely unacceptable. Even a small amount of alcohol constitutes driving under the influence, so it’s just as dangerous.
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There’s no way I’d continue seeing a man who drives under the influence.
As for what’s wrong with him? There are far too many issues—it’s hard to find anything good about him.
Marika
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
As far as the club’s rules go, he shouldn’t have picked you up and taken you somewhere by car right from the first meeting.
I know it may have been difficult, but it might have been better to protect yourself by asking something like, “What kind of date are we going on today?” before getting in the car. You were lucky nothing unpleasant happened, but it could have been serious if he’d gotten into an accident while driving under the influence.
The papa himself doesn’t seem like a bad person, but he does come across as lacking communication and being somewhat self-centered. If you plan to keep seeing him, it would be best to agree on the terms in advance—such as the allowance amount, whether protection is expected, and whether dinner is included. If you don’t clearly establish everything beforehand, he may continue to push you around once you meet. Driving under the influence is scary, so I hope you’ll ask him not to do that again.
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This is だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I can’t recommend this man’s approach, but since I can understand the woman’s feelings and he isn’t forcing her into anything, I suppose he’s probably a reasonably decent guy.
When you meet him next time, you might want to say, “Don’t drink and drive!” and “Let’s talk things through as we go on dates.”
Somehow, I get the feeling that this man would be receptive to that.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
Yeah… well… I guess he’s not a bad person.
But drunk driving is a hard no.
I have nothing but doubts about continuing this arrangement…
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I’m Dai, a male member.
First of all, do you understand that if you knowingly get into a car with someone who’s been drinking and an accident occurs, you could also be held criminally liable?
This isn’t a situation where you should be saying you feel responsible for not being able to stop him.
As for everything else, all I can say is: do whatever you want.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
There are so many problems—or rather, so many things to call out—that I don’t know where to begin. If you were joking, then you’re partly to blame for not making it clear, but you weren’t joking, were you?
It’s the kind of thing where Yabe on *Out Deluxe* would say, “That’s a no-go!”
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I’m a male member, username “Paper Airplane.”
I feel that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is supposed to be about making the woman feel comfortable and enjoy herself—and the man gives her an allowance because he values seeing her happy.
But it sounds like he’s moving forward without asking her what she wants at all.
As for the car, when making the offer, there’s usually an option to ask something like, “Would it be okay if I picked you up by car?” So he should have checked that first.
Then, after she got in, he didn’t even ask where she wanted to go.
And if he wanted to say they’d already eaten, he should have brought it up after letting her choose something to eat and have a decent meal.
Going to a hotel without asking what she wanted is completely out of the question too…
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’m not sure what this is a test of, but I’ll try to answer.
First of all, I think it was wrong to have her get in the car without getting her consent in advance. Also, asking, “Are you still okay on time?” doesn’t confirm her willingness to have an adult relationship (intimate), and no agreement was reached on the allowance either.
And as you said, drunk driving is unacceptable.
If you send this as feedback, the man will at least be cautioned.
I’m surprised there are still people who drive drunk even in the Reiwa era.
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