For a birthday gift for a woman I’ve only recently started seeing (just a few times), would she appreciate cash more than an actual gift? If I give cash, what would be a reasonable amount out of 50,000–200,000 yen?

It’s Joe. Cash is best. A lot of it, too (lol). That said, I can’t guarantee it will bring you satisfaction or happiness. If anything, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll end up disappointed. For reference, if I may, here’s a list of birthday gifts I’ve given: 1. A handbag 2. Lingerie 3. A watch 4. Earrings 5. A hair dryer (but a six-figure one) 6. A complete set of cosmetics (also six figures) 7. Tickets for her and her boyfriend to go to Europe (two tickets, naturally—and business class, so seven figures) 8. A car ← Am I an idiot? That’s all. I tried my best each time, but I doubt any of them remember (lol). So I’d advise you not to entertain the somewhat presumptuous idea of “standing out from other men.” Incidentally, the birthday gift Seishi Jūin gave to his favorite Ginza hostess was a kimono costing 20 million yen. However, when he went to the club that day, she was wearing a different kimono. Why? The one she was wearing had been given to her by another man—and it cost 40 million yen. Great story, isn’t it? (lol)

I’m Taro, a male member. I don’t think you should jump to conclusions. Her birthday is an important occasion, so why not use it as an opportunity to talk things over with her? If you tell her you want to celebrate because you care about her, she won’t take it badly. Surprises are nothing but risky when you don’t know the other person well yet. I get the impression that 7 is common among girls who joined through a scout. And if you’re okay with even less than that, it’s because you like her, right? There’s something other than money involved. Given that situation, why get so hung up on the money? That feeling that she might suddenly disappear is probably proof that you already sense it yourself. There’s a lot of money and dishonesty in this world, but there are also genuinely pure-hearted people who can take you by surprise. Getting deceived by a money-minded woman is frustrating, but I think it hurts even more when your own jaded mindset keeps you from accepting someone sincere. It’s fine to think things through, but I hope you make a choice you won’t regret.

I’m Aya, a female member. I’m sure money would be appreciated, but even if you’re trying to show generosity, ¥200,000 is, if I may say so, an awkward middle ground. You risk coming across as someone who offers only a mediocre amount of money. If you’ve only met a few times, I don’t think a birthday present is necessary. And if you want to stand out, that may be difficult when your allowance is already on the low side.

I’m a lost 60-something. There’s a woman I’ve been giving the gift of professional photo shoots throughout the four seasons over the course of a year.

I’m “Paper Airplane,” a male member. If you want to stand out, it’s a birthday present, so the number of times you’ve met shouldn’t matter. Actually, after a year, you’ll probably already be giving her a decent allowance, so there won’t be much need for a special gift or extra money. Even if it ends up being wasted, you have to think of it as a year’s worth of upfront investment; otherwise, your generosity won’t come across. Unless it’s something she really wants, a gift probably won’t move her much. Will she see it as something you give once a year? Or will she think, “It’s still so soon after we met, so I guess he’s just giving me something for now”? Also, since this is a dating club, you should understand that whether it’s a gift or cash, you can’t really stand out through the amount alone. The difference comes from your actions—the thought and substance behind them. > If I’m giving cash, what would be a reasonable amount if the range is 50,000 to 200,000 yen? She’ll probably be happy with any amount, but if you want to stand out, give her a substantial amount in cash. If you don’t like her that much, you might as well not give her anything. The impact will be limited, so be prepared for it to be money down the drain.