I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a male member.
I’ll answer on the assumption that you’re a woman.
>> Could my instincts be getting dull?
I think it’s actually the opposite: your instincts have become more refined.
The reason is that, as women, we tend to be “fooled by first impressions.”
People often say, “Men judge women by their looks, while women judge men by their personality.” However, an experiment at Penn State found that whether a woman falls in love is determined “almost entirely by appearance,” suggesting that women make decisions based on looks more than men do.
Unfortunately, there’s also data showing that appearance has no bearing whatsoever on whether a relationship can last more than three months. In other words, the typical pattern is that women start dating someone because of his looks, then break up after they stop finding him attractive.
Even when it’s not directly about appearance, it can affect your emotions in ways like suddenly finding it irritating when “he criticizes me,” or realizing, “I don’t enjoy our dates anymore,” and becoming unable to tolerate things you once could.
So when you say, “I always end up breaking up with them for one reason or another,” it may indirectly mean that you started dating them because they looked good, but eventually stopped feeling any benefit from their appearance.
Now, the change in you is the opposite of that pattern: among people you didn’t initially find physically attractive, you’ve learned to recognize romantic value.
I think that’s clearly a sign of growth. And just as you sense, this is the kind of pattern that tends to lead to longer-lasting relationships.
I hope a wonderful romance comes your way—you seem to have grasped the key to love quite early.
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here, too.
Hmm…
Maybe your intuition is a little off, or perhaps you’re somehow drawn to the wrong kinds of things.
It’s possible to be attracted to people who have the very qualities you dislike in yourself. That might be why you get that instant spark of intuition—but because those qualities also bother you, the relationship may not last very long.
I think it happens fairly often that someone who makes a bad first impression gradually grows on you.
Still, maybe your instincts are simply miscalibrated, so you should keep adjusting them.
I think it would be better to develop the ability to recognize that someone is a good person the moment you meet them, even if your first impression isn’t great.
Please awaken your Seventh Sense. (Haha.)
I’m Kaz, a male member.
I don’t have one. I’ve never had that instant spark. There are women I’d like to sleep with, women I feel so-so about, and women I just can’t do it with. If it’s the latter two, meeting again would just be a waste of time and effort, so I don’t see them after the first meeting.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Um… can I ask you something? You’re a woman, right?
If you are, then it’s actually pretty common… Some people even end up marrying someone they initially found physically repulsive. It’s perfectly natural.
But if you’re a man… then I’d be surprised…
In my case, I get that instant spark and just grow fonder over time, so the relationship tends to last.
But, but… at the club, whenever I make an offer, the women are all so wonderful that I get that instant spark…
Huh? I’ve completely become desensitized…
And even among them, there are some I feel are truly special. It’s quite an amazing world.
