I’ve had a monthly arrangement worth ¥200,000 with a doctor in his 50s who runs his own practice since around last August.
At first, we messaged on LINE almost every day and were able to meet five or six times a month.
We would go on out-of-town trips almost every month, and although he was married, I felt very comfortable with him and we had a really good relationship.
However, over the past four months or so, he gradually started contacting me less. It dropped to about once or twice a week, and now he only messages me the day before we’re supposed to meet. We currently meet just three times a month as well.
We had plans to meet at the end of May, but he contacted me that day to cancel because he had thrown out his back. He asked if we could postpone our meeting.
Since we hadn’t made any plans for the next time, I replied by telling him my days off and availability in June, and asked him to let me know his June schedule when he had time.
I sent that LINE message on Thursday, May 27, and he said, “I’ll let you know my schedule by Sunday the 30th.”
I waited until Sunday, but he never contacted me, and that’s where things stand now...
It’s been about a week since the day we were supposed to meet, and I’ve been feeling unsettled because I haven’t heard from him at all.
If he didn’t want to see me anymore, he wouldn’t normally say, “I’ll check my schedule again and message you by Sunday,” would he?
But why hasn’t he contacted me...?
Does this mean he’s completely cut me off?
Would it be okay for me to contact him in this situation?
Something casual, like, “Is your back okay?”
I’d really appreciate hearing what everyone thinks (・・;)
I’m a male member, paper airplane.
A relationship where you don’t feel secure isn’t a good one.
No matter what kind of LINE message you send, it probably won’t change whether the relationship continues or ends. So if you’re unsure, I think you should send it anyway, so you won’t have any regrets.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I get the feeling things may have become routine and that she’s starting to lose interest. She may be cooling off, but not to the point of wanting to end things outright—more like she’d accept it if things naturally came to an end. That’s just my guess, though, so I could be wrong.
If she is losing interest, sending a heavy message might only make her feel even more put off and find it bothersome. I think it would be better to send something casual. If you don’t reach out, things might simply fade away on their own.
Sorry if I’ve completely misread the situation.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I always thought a monthly arrangement meant the relationship would become closer, so I was surprised to hear that some people end up feeling anxious when their papa starts contacting them less. At that point, it doesn’t seem much different from a pay-per-meeting arrangement.
I think it’s fine to send a LINE message checking in on his health, but ideally, you should find something else to focus on—or meet another papa and spread out your attention. Once you have some emotional breathing room, you won’t feel so attached to that papa.
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I’ll answer as Maezawa from the president’s office.
> Would it be okay to contact him in this situation?
> Something casual, like, “Is your back okay?”
I think that would be fine.
However, regarding your plans, I feel it might be better not to bring them up for now.
He probably isn’t feeling very well. Although he’s still relatively young and should be in good health, people who think they’re still young can sometimes injure themselves because of the gap between how they feel mentally and what their body can actually handle.
If he really did throw out his back, you may not be able to see him for about a month.
Since you don’t know the situation yet, I think it would be best to stick to ordinary conversation for now.
Once he feels better, he’ll probably invite you again. Of course, it’s also possible that he has started seeing someone new.
But there’s not much point in dwelling on that, so for now, just keep in touch through LINE or similar and wait for him to invite you next time.
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