I’ve been reading the recent STI questions, and something about them is really frustrating me. People say things like, “I have unprotected sex, but I’m worried about STIs,” or “I’d lose interest if I caught an STI from him.” Aren’t they fundamentally misunderstanding something? It’s also strange to panic afterward and demand that your papa (a male supporter) take responsibility once you’ve been infected. Before anything else, you need to protect yourself by insisting on condoms. And if you absolutely can’t bear being cut off by a papa who still pressures you, then accept the risk without complaining. Someone who was infected wasn’t raped, after all, was she?

I’m Tetsu, a male member. I wouldn’t say it’s exactly as you put it, but I don’t think there’s any fundamental difference in our views. I don’t think it’s right to blame other people entirely for contracting an STI. STIs aren’t airborne, so most of the responsibility lies with the partner who transmitted it. However, the person who contracted it is also responsible in the sense that they failed to take every possible precaution to avoid getting an STI. If it happened because they had unprotected sex, then regardless of the reason, that’s their own responsibility. Personally, if a woman is asked by a man to have unprotected sex, I think it would be reasonable for her to get him to sign a statement saying, “If the act results in any physical complications, such as an STI or pregnancy, I will take full responsibility for all expenses, including medical bills and compensation, as well as anything else the woman requests,” and even hold a security deposit. I understand that it’s not realistically possible to go that far, but that’s the level of risk involved.

Maezawa from the President’s Office here with an answer. There’s something fundamentally wrong with this way of putting it, as if they’re just trying to justify themselves. If you replaced this with a traffic accident, it would sound something like: “You chose to walk on the road, so you should accept the risk of getting hit. And just because you were in an accident doesn’t mean you can demand that the other person take responsibility.” The questioner’s way of thinking is misguided. Even in a traffic accident, the person who caused it is the one who should properly apologize and take responsibility. Some people might say, “It’s your fault for walking there in the first place,” but I don’t think anyone would accept that argument. Perhaps you’re trying to say that, in the case of an illness, the person who transmitted it often doesn’t even know they had it, so they shouldn’t be held responsible. But even so, if you infected someone, you should properly take responsibility. Infecting someone yourself and then saying, “You knew there was a risk too, didn’t you?” is nothing short of shameless. Why can’t you think about anyone but yourself?

I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.” When I meet someone I’m dating, I do so fully aware that, in the unlikely event I contract COVID, that’s a risk I’ve accepted. The risk is far greater than that of an STI. If someone passes COVID on to you, are you really going to sue them? Compared with COVID, some STIs have longer incubation periods or can remain asymptomatic, making it extremely difficult to determine who transmitted it to whom. Isn’t it impossible to place the blame on one person? I believe both parties share responsibility in relationships between men and women. Whether it’s COVID or an STI, if someone is the type to blame the other person, lose interest, or demand accountability after being infected, then you simply shouldn’t continue seeing them. Being involved with someone like that is far more unpleasant and off-putting to me. I hope more couples come to share a loving relationship that never wavers, no matter what happens.

I’m Taro, a male member. I understand what you’re trying to say, but I don’t want people to assume that every papa (a male supporter) has an STD. I don’t（笑). That said, it is basically a matter of personal responsibility. In a dating club, women can refuse if they’re uncomfortable. If you choose to accept something yourself, you also have to take responsibility for the risks involved. Asking how to turn something down is one thing, but accepting it and then complaining when a problem arises doesn’t really make sense. Also, some people act as though going bare is inherently bad, but I don’t agree with that either. If both people are okay with it, I don’t see a problem. It can be a sign of trust and help build a deeper relationship. Of course, both parties still have to make sure they don’t cause trouble for each other.