How can I learn to enjoy sex when I have past trauma? I’d like to meet someone I’m compatible with enough to forget about it, but I’m worried that talking about my past trauma will seem too heavy, so I find it difficult to bring up. I’d like to know what I can do on my own to work through it. Thank you.

Mamiya from Universe Tokyo here. Trauma isn’t something we can always recognize in ourselves. Once you’re aware of the problem, it can be addressed. I think there may be a part of you that doesn’t truly want to let go of what you consider trauma. If you can recognize that, you may be able to find a way forward.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. I think the best way to deal with painful memories from the past is to replace them with happy memories in the present. Human memory is quite vague because we’re constantly forming new memories as we go through each day. Within those memories, the experiences that leave the strongest impression—whether happy or sad—become deeply etched in our minds. Only you can create enough happy experiences to gradually soften those painful memories. I hope you meet a man you can trust enough to talk about your past trauma with. That way, you can make lots of happy memories and have someone to confide in—a win-win situation (笑).