Hello, I’m a male member who joined four months ago.
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There was the following exchange in the question box some time ago.
https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/1509
It struck me as a fairly common yet rather important issue.
From the man’s perspective, I’d prefer to end things without hurting the woman’s feelings as much as possible.
Since then, there have been more people answering questions, and the overall atmosphere seems a little different as well.
What do you all think now?
At the time, the answer was either 2 or 1. Personally, I feel it would be either 2 or 3.
Depending on the atmosphere between the two people, I think letting things naturally fade out is perfectly acceptable. It seems better than awkwardly going into too much detail.
If things naturally fade out, there’s always a chance you might reconnect at some point, too.
But what do you think about option 1—being honest about your true feelings?
No matter how you put it, telling someone that you no longer find them as attractive would probably hurt them quite a bit.
If you’ve only met two or three times, I don’t think you need to go that far.
If you’ve been seeing each other for quite a long time, and depending on the relationship, I can see option 1 being appropriate.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
“Knowing how to leave things” is difficult, isn’t it?
The reason I applied to become an answerer was because I had some thoughts about this very issue of how to part ways—I wanted to say my piece, too!
Personally, I think it’s fine whether you’re being honest, using a white lie, or simply choosing not to respond. But I’d still like to keep some form of communication open.
Even if papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is something that has a beginning and an end…
If possible, I’d like us to say what needs to be said, hear each other out, and bring things to a proper close.
I’m an old guy, and I may not have much time left, so I try to approach these relationships sincerely and make sure I’m not being disrespectful (or at least, I think I do). (Laughs)
Besides, as Mac said, you never know when—or what—might happen. (Laughs)
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I’m a male member named Basil.
If we’ve only seen each other two or three times, I can’t be bothered, so option 1—being honest about how I feel—is out. Most of the time, I go with option 3: I stop responding and let things naturally fade out.
However, if I really like her, I’ll choose option 2: give her a reason she can easily accept, such as getting busier with work or having family issues.
That’s partly to show some sincerity, and partly because I may secretly hope we can reconnect someday. That said, if I feel that way about her, even if someone better comes along, I won’t be the one to end things right away—I’ll keep her around a little longer.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I generally don’t initiate plans to meet again, so for me, it would be option 3: letting things naturally fade out.
There is one woman who only dates me and sees me every week. If I started feeling less inclined to see her, I’d probably tell her what was bothering me and try to see if we could work it out. In that case, it would be closer to option 1—but rather than suddenly talking about breaking things off, I’d start with a discussion.
I think it depends on how close your relationship is and how much the other person relies on your allowance.
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