I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Reducing the allowance is a good question.
I think this is a difficult situation. My guess is that the man wants to continue the relationship, but also wants to reconsider the way things have been between you.
Since this time the allowance was suddenly different from usual, it seems the situation started with you wondering, “What happened?” However, something this important should ideally have been discussed in advance and handled in the same way as the initial arrangement.
There was no discussion this time, but if we assume there had been one, this would be the point to think carefully about:
- Should this be the reason to end the relationship?
- Or should you revise the allowance and continue seeing each other?
That’s not an easy decision.
Of course, I understand why women might want to take a strong stance, since they’re young and attractive and may feel they have plenty of other options. But from the man’s perspective, if he wants to continue the relationship but feels some changes are necessary, he’ll probably think in terms of:
1. Ending the relationship—either the man gradually fades out, or the woman does.
2. Revising the terms and maintaining the relationship.
In this case, the man suddenly made the change without discussing it first, so naturally, that wasn’t a good move. However, judging from how things have gone so far, I think he may be trying to move into a new stage of the relationship and made this move as part of that process.
In that sense, I think both sides are being tested right now.
If we view this as still being at the negotiation stage, rather than cutting the transportation money and allowance all at once, perhaps he could start by removing only the transportation payment. At the same time, as some people have suggested, declaring the relationship over is also a valid option. It’s a very difficult situation.
I’m Meg, a female member.
Cutting the allowance without even discussing it beforehand is so rude—it’s honestly astonishing!
That said, if you want to move forward, it’s also important to reflect on yourself and consider why it happened.
Questioner, don’t let this get you down. You might want to wait for an offer from a more gentlemanly papa (male supporter)♪
I’m Seattle, a male member.
Reducing the allowance is normally out of the question, so perhaps he was already willing to end things.
There’s probably not much future to this arrangement anyway, no matter how you put it. Try not to worry about it too much and focus on other things.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
In the first place, it’s strange for the man to reduce the allowance without consulting you.
And the fact that you have to ask him about it on LINE also suggests that you’re not particularly close or on good terms.
If you were close, you wouldn’t need to rush to ask over LINE—you could simply bring it up the next time you met.
Either way, I think this shows that the relationship was only ever going to be that kind of arrangement. It’s probably better that you found out sooner rather than later.
