I regularly get offers from men, and I’m happy that many of them are genuinely affectionate and treat me really well when we go on dates. I’ve even been seeing someone once a week for over three years. I think I’m fairly good at reading the situation and handling these relationships. But when it comes to dating in real life, I’m terrible at judging men. Even if they’re kind at first, after about six months their attitude suddenly changes, or they break up with me. Is dating through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) really different from dating in real life?

I’m BB7, a male member. Isn’t dating in the real world more cutthroat, with men being more demanding as well? That’s reality. Romance through a dating club is a “dream” for both sides. It’s really just some older guy getting soft and spoiling her.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. As everyone has said, I think it’s fair to consider dating through a relationship club and dating in the real world as two different things. Of course, some couples may move from a relationship-club arrangement into a real relationship, and there may also be couples whose relationship through the club is extremely close to a real romance, but… A relationship through a club begins, develops, and ultimately ends within the framework of the club. So there’s no concept of “what comes after that.” By contrast, I think real romance progresses with both people unconsciously looking ahead to “what comes next” in the relationship. (I haven’t been seriously in love lately, so I’m relying on how I remember feeling in the past.) Regarding what you said: > In real relationships, I’m bad at judging men. Even if they’re kind at first, after about six months their attitude suddenly changes, or they dump me. Rather than saying you’re “bad at judging men,” perhaps men are looking beyond simply enjoying the romance and considering what comes “after” the relationship? Since you also receive offers regularly, I assume you’re probably an attractive person. But men may unconsciously be checking not only your appearance, but also things like: - Are you patient? - Do you seem capable of being frugal? - Are you healthy? - Will you lose interest because of another man? - Can you be resourceful? - Are you intelligent? - Do you have charm? - Are you obedient? Of course, I doubt there’s any woman who has no issues whatsoever in all of these areas. But if anything I’ve listed rings a bell, perhaps next time you could check yourself as well, while also checking the qualities you’re looking for in a man. Start by choosing the right man, then move on toward a relationship. Having written all this, though, I suddenly thought, “Wait a minute!” It seems that hardly any men or women actually put these things into practice（笑） Still, when starting a relationship, I think people do make a rough initial assessment before approaching someone, and then confirm within the relationship, “Is this generally going to work?” I hope this is helpful!

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and real romantic relationships are different. When you really listen to this kind of relationship advice, you often hear things like: “I’m choosing men who don’t seem likely to stick around.” “I know they’re no good for me, but I still end up choosing that type.” In many cases, it’s not so much that they have poor judgment when it comes to men—they’re choosing those kinds of men themselves. The woman asking the question probably realizes that too, so I think it’s fine for her to date someone fun even if the relationship won’t last, then choose someone suited for marriage before she misses her ideal time to get married.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. Does the woman you’ve been seeing once a week for over three years still receive an allowance every time? If so, it sounds like it would be pretty difficult for a genuine romantic relationship to develop. If the man she’s romantically involved with keeps feeding the fish he caught, the relationship may last. But if you—the fish in question—aren’t hungry, can’t eat the bait, don’t feel like eating it, don’t find it appealing, and don’t seem eager to take it from him, he may eventually stop wanting to keep offering it. That may be what’s happening. The fact that you’ve had opportunities to date men in real life for so long suggests that you’re quite popular. In ordinary circumstances, I think you probably have plenty of qualities that would make you attractive in the real world too. However, unless you remain a woman who is hungry and eager for what’s being offered, even your prince may change direction and ride his horse elsewhere. P.S. papa-katsu through a club is a relationship based on an agreement, so it’s fundamentally different from romance that develops through meeting someone naturally. For some women, the difference may be as great as that between work and their private life. “I won’t meet him without an allowance” means exactly that.

I’m Meg, one of the female members. Maybe I’m unconsciously comparing him to my papas. Perhaps he senses that somehow and thinks I’m a disappointment…? It’s complicated. In real life, there’s no allowance, after all. I hope I meet someone who makes me think, “Even without that, I’d want to stay with this person forever.” Hana, Aww, you’re too sweet! It’s such an honor to hear that from someone as beautiful as you (*＞∇＜)ﾉ I’m just an ordinary housewife you’d find anywhere. (If I met you, I might get depressed over how unattractive I am!) Huh? You’re in the Kinki region, right? I’d absolutely love to meet you♪ Why not have an offline meetup or girls’ night with everyone from the Q&A? We’d have so much to talk about—it sounds like it would be a blast (*^^*)