I’m a male member, BB7.
Even if you break things off with your current partner and move on, another woman will come along. And after her, yet another attractive woman will appear.
Even if you get married, you’ll still look at the dating club’s website, make offers to other women, and continue enjoying the club.
That’s just how it is. Human desire has no end.
I’m Adventure Merchant, a column writer.
I’ve also had experiences where I focused on dating just one woman.
There have only been a few women I’ve gotten serious enough about to consider marriage, but they do exist.
When you reach that point—seriously dating one person—you stop noticing other women. There may be women who are prettier, have better figures, are kinder, have better personalities, or are more sexually compatible than the woman you’re seeing. Even so, you develop a relationship where you feel, “I want to be with this woman and only this woman.”
Since this is a dating club, the terms naturally come first. Both men and women probably start seeing someone because “the terms are good.”
But as the relationship develops, once you genuinely think, “This is the one,” you start feeling, “Even though the terms aren’t ideal, I still want to be with her.”
Wanting to stay with just one person despite seeing her flaws means that her position in your mind has changed from number one to your one and only.
—Yes, that’s the sensible answer up to this point.
But… here’s the thing.
In the world of dating clubs, you can still meet an exceptionally wonderful woman who surpasses even that one-and-only partner.
Once you meet someone like that, the flaws of the woman you’re currently seeing become even more obvious, and before you’re even consciously thinking about switching partners, you may find yourself wanting to let go of your current relationship.
So in the end, it comes down to deciding how far you want to continue meeting new people through the dating club. For example, you might stop completely when you turn 50, or decide that you’ll definitely quit in another year.
Unless you set your own deadline and deliberately convince yourself that the woman you’re seeing at that point is the highest-ranking partner you’ll ever have, it can go on forever.
As for me, I still have the energy for it, so for the time being I’m not thinking about marriage. I’ll continue seeing the woman I genuinely want to focus on as “the one,” while still casually remaining open to new encounters.
I’m 45 now, and I suppose I’d be happy if, about ten years from now, I were still able to continue seeing the woman I’m with at that time.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I completely understand how you feel. My approach to these arrangements is the same as yours.
That said, this is where you really have to think it over.
Your situation sounds very similar to the way I handle new offers to newly joined members. In my case, she doesn’t have to be No. 1—I’m satisfied as long as she stays until she decides to leave on her own, provided she’s above a certain level. In other words, they’re all more or less the same. My policy is to continue as long as she doesn’t leave, but I still find myself wanting to make an offer. It’s a battle with myself. (I haven’t actually done it yet.)
I think it ultimately comes down to what standards you use to evaluate this woman and where you place her by those standards.
Generally speaking, there’s always someone better, so it’s a never-ending journey.
If you think, “I want to go further…” then make a change.
If you think, “This is good enough for me…” then maintain the current arrangement.
Something along those lines, I suppose… (笑)
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
Maybe it’s simply that you’re not the type to grow more attached to your girlfriend over time. You’re the kind of person who stops putting in effort once you’ve won someone over.
She can sense that too, which is probably why you only feel that level of attraction toward her—and why your attention drifts to other women.
Isn’t this really an issue with your own personality?
You’ll keep thinking you’re popular, while women gradually walk away.
