There was a question about being asked to lower the allowance on the second meeting. In my experience, this likely happens when the allowance agreed on for the first meeting was too high and the man was not actually comfortable with it.
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The reason I think this is that the reduction was requested on the second meeting—not the third or fifth.
Here is what happened in my case:
1. I met a Platinum woman who was a Type C.
2. On the first date, after dinner, I invited her to a hotel with an allowance of 60,000 yen.
3. She told me that she wouldn’t accept anything below 80,000 yen.
・・・・At that point, this is what I was thinking:
1. In my opinion, 80,000 yen was clearly too high for her.
2. However, I had already paid the club a 50,000-yen setting fee.
3. If I turned down the 80,000 yen and made an offer to another Platinum woman who was about equally attractive, even if she agreed to 60,000 yen, reaching an adult relationship (intimate) with a Platinum woman would cost me an additional 50,000-yen setting fee plus a 60,000-yen allowance, for a total of 110,000 yen.
4. On the other hand, if I accepted the 80,000 yen, the additional cost of reaching an adult relationship (intimate) with a Platinum woman would be just 80,000 yen.
Thinking about it that way, I agreed to the 80,000 yen.
Unfortunately, things with this woman ended after just one meeting, but if there had been a second meeting, I feel I probably would have asked to reduce the allowance to 60,000 yen from then on.
I’ve experienced several similar cases. With one Black woman, I offered 80,000 yen while she wanted 110,000 yen. With another Black woman, I offered 100,000 yen while she wanted 150,000 yen.
In both cases, I accepted the woman’s requested amount in full for the first meeting.
I suspect that the person who asked about being told to lower the allowance on the second meeting may have been in a similar situation.
Here is my question.
I’m not wealthy, and it’s not as though I don’t care how much allowance I pay. Even so, when it comes to the first meeting, I feel I’m prone to a bias that makes me accept the woman’s requested amount in full, even when I think it’s somewhat high.
Have any of the other male members had similar experiences?
Also, in cases where I thought the amount was high but accepted the woman’s requested amount in full for the first meeting, I often feel in hindsight that I wasn’t particularly satisfied overall.
Is accepting it on the first meeting simply something that can’t be avoided?
I’m Saito, a column writer♪
I’m not sure how to put this—and I don’t mean to criticize you—but men who think that way in the first place tend to be disliked.
That may be why women quote you such high prices.
Rather than spending all your money on papa-katsu, I think you’d become a more appealing man—and enjoy everyday life even more—if you invested some of it in improving yourself.
Then even women on the blacklist might tell you, even if they were only pretending, “I’d be happy just to meet you. I don’t need an allowance.”
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I’m Hikouki, a male member.
There are definitely cases like the one you describe. I get the impression that women who have trouble continuing beyond the second or third meeting tend to ask for a high allowance at the first meeting, as if they need to make back their money in one go.
When I come across someone like that, I’ve realized it’s much more worthwhile to cut my losses early and spend the next day enjoying a date with one of my favorite girls.
Since coming to that realization, I’ve stopped wasting my time and stopped making offers.
P.S. There are also girls I initially thought were expensive but accepted anyway, and I wouldn’t mind seeing them again. But their turn never seems to come up. Even if I do meet them occasionally, the humble girls make a better impression (and know how to appeal to a man’s feelings), so they always come first. The others keep getting pushed further and further back…
Even if a woman invites me, she still gets put off. The schedule never opens up. Then, because the only dates I have are new offers, it becomes a vicious cycle.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Ultimately, what happens after dinner is for the two people involved to decide. Whether the allowance is reduced or increased, you should simply agree on it together.
As I’ve mentioned in this Q&A before, the concept of “pay-per-meeting” means that the relationship is essentially limited to that particular occasion and ends there. If that’s the case, then when meeting for the second time, it seems perfectly natural to negotiate again—and for the amount to stay the same, increase, or decrease from the previous time.
If you continue negotiating for the second, third, and subsequent meetings and can settle on terms that both of you are happy with, I think that’s perfectly fine. From the woman’s perspective, it will probably settle at the maximum amount she’s willing to accept for the arrangement; from the man’s, at the maximum amount he can afford to pay.
If you can’t agree on that, then all you have to do is move on and each find someone new.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
Ahhh… sadly, I know exactly what you mean (lol). The difference is that I always continue for at least two meetings at the agreed allowance before deciding what to do next.
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I’m a male member in Seattle.
The first time, since she’s right there in front of you, you’ll probably want to devour her whole.
A man’s satisfaction is usually highest the first time, so any woman who can keep a man coming back with a generous allowance must really know what she’s doing.
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