I’ve been seeing a man for three years who gives me an allowance, and things have been going well. He’s gentle, kind, and never gets angry, no matter what I do. But I have one concern.
This content is machine-translated.
He’s extremely cold toward staff and other people. He seems very concerned about not being looked down on, so he’ll harshly rush elderly staff members who are slow, or complain about inexperienced employees who don’t handle things perfectly—sometimes to the point of making them almost cry. I’m completely turned off by it.
Aside from that, he’d be perfect, but this isn’t something people can really change, is it?
When he behaves like this in front of me, what should I do as a woman? And should I gently tell him that I’d like him to change this?
I’m Saito♪, a column writer.
Why is that, I wonder?
There are quite a few people like that, and it’s not just young people—some older people really stand out, too.
When a Chinese passenger was reprimanded by a staff member for talking on their cellphone in Gran Class and snapped back, “You need to realize that your admonishing me is what’s creating the noise,” I remember thinking, “What an incredible culture….”
Yes.
There’s really nothing you can do.
They fundamentally look down on other people.
Even toward you, they could suddenly change at the slightest provocation.
You can’t see the magma underground, so they climb the mountain without a care.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Adventure Merchant, a column writer.
I feel there’s a strong chance that, once your relationship with this man has continued and grown more familiar, that appalling attitude will eventually be directed at you as well.
When you feel that behavior is starting to be aimed at you, wouldn’t it be better to walk away?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve hardly ever gotten into an argument, and I probably raise my voice less than once every ten years.
Needless to say, I could never treat a staff member that way—and I wouldn’t be able to do it even if I were receiving an allowance.
That person must be truly extraordinary—completely the opposite of me.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
That’s honestly pretty shocking...
To be honest, I think it would be difficult to make someone like that understand that what they’re doing is wrong. Fundamentally, they probably won’t change unless you tie them naked to a pillar and smack them hard enough to make them cry until they reconsider.
Normally, if someone noticed how put off you were, they’d realize, “Oh, this is bad.” But if they’re the kind of person who can’t pick up on that, you could try telling them, “That’s really off-putting.”
Though if you do that, they might turn around and blame you, just like they did that employee...
For your own safety, maybe tying them naked to a pillar really is the only way to cure them.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Meg, one of the female members.
That’s seriously off-putting (*_*)
Honestly, I’d want to confront him and say, “So your attitude changes that much depending on the person?”
But instead, you could try saying it in a cute way:
“Aww, Mr. ○○, come on! If someone said that to me, I’d cry too～ (ToT)
So, could you pretend the staff member was me and not get angry?
It would make me happy if you did.
I might even like you a little more～♪ (smile)”
How does that sound?
(If that’s not really your personality, feel free to adapt it to suit your own style.)
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
