Looking at the Instagram of the woman I’m seeing never brings up any good feelings (lol). It seems more troublesome than Facebook or Twitter because the information feels more real. But when you know it’s there, it’s hard not to look. What do you all do? Do you eventually become numb to it and stop caring?

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ I do look at the Instagram accounts of the women I’m seeing, but when I come across photos of meals we’ve shared, I just think, “Oh,” and move on. It doesn’t mean anything in particular, lol. If I see other photos, I may sometimes wonder whether she went out with another papa, judging from certain details. But I take it as one piece of information and learn from what the atmosphere may have been like.

It’s Joe. Since everyone else has given such “textbook adult” answers, I’ll humbly offer mine, hopefully meeting your expectations? To cut to the chase: I check obsessively. Actually, it’s often the other person who tells me to sign up and take a look. As you said, there isn’t even the slightest bit of happiness in it for men. And yet, once you know about it, you just can’t help checking, right?! I completely understand. In my case, I’ve fully embraced it and see it as a source of information to make sure we don’t end up going to the same places on our dates (lol). Sometimes I even use what I find as material in bed. It gets me fired up. But I wouldn’t recommend it. I hope your relationship stays peaceful.

I’m a male member based in Seattle. I’m not interested in Instagram either, so I don’t ask for it myself.