How do you treat someone when you’re thinking about ending things with her?
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I can’t bring myself to openly say, “Let’s stop seeing each other,” so when she messages me on LINE, all I can really do is leave them on read. But it still weighs on me.
I also feel that explaining the reason when telling her we won’t be seeing each other anymore would be inappropriate…
I’d appreciate any advice on how you handle a breakup gracefully without hurting the other person. Or, from a woman’s perspective, what kind of attitude or approach would you be most grateful for?
I’m Saito, the column writer♪
Are you with Rula too…?
I usually say goodbye properly, but if it’s within the first two times, I tend to just ignore them…
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I’m a male member based in Seattle.
I know being left on read—or having your messages ignored—is common these days, but I’m not a fan of it.
When I’ve found someone I like, I’ll write, “I’m sorry, but I’ve met someone I’m interested in.” I don’t give a reason unless I’m asked, but most of the time it’s because she wasn’t very engaged in conversation or sex. Occasionally, there have also been women whose body odor I simply couldn’t tolerate.
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I’m Rura, a male member of UC and the new salon.
In my case, if I’ve been seeing a woman for over a year, for example, I’ll meet her one last time, have a proper conversation, and bring things to an end.
If we’ve only met two or three times and haven’t developed that deep of a relationship, sometimes I’ll just let things naturally fade out. Other times, I’ll come up with a plausible excuse—such as my company being in trouble or having family issues—and end things that way.
In those cases, I at least make sure it doesn’t lead to any financial complaints, such as there being an allowance I promised but never paid.
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