I recently became a member and have a question about allowances.

I’m Joe, a columnist. In my case, I don’t think in terms of transportation expenses or anything like that. But since it’s often late at night, I walk her to the taxi stand, give her ¥5,000–¥10,000, and ask the driver to make sure she gets home safely. Occasionally, a woman will say, “I couldn’t possibly accept this.” When that happens, I’m guaranteed to fall for her (laughs). So please, questioner, even if you’re thinking, “This is 20% less than it should be,” don’t say it out loud. If anything, pretend to refuse by saying, “You’ve already given me plenty.” In my case, I would never take it back, and I’d probably be more generous with the allowance next time. Sometimes you have to take a small loss to gain something bigger. That’s just how life works. Seriously.

I’m a male member based in Seattle. I agree with Nonta. From the start, you should negotiate clearly about whether intimacy is included or not. Everyone has different expectations.