I have a question about how things usually progress.

There are different relationship types, so as long as you choose one that matches your expectations, you shouldn’t get any complaints from your papa. Excerpt from the Universe Club website: A Type: **Dinner Dates** — Basically, you’re looking for dates involving tea or a meal. You’re not looking for a relationship that includes intimacy. B1 Type: **Take It Slow** — After going on several dates and seeing if you click, the relationship may develop further. B2 Type: **Starting From the Second Date** — The first date is dinner only. The relationship may develop further from the second date onward. C Type: **Depending on the Chemistry** — If you click from the first date, the relationship may develop further. D Type: **Proactive** — If he makes a smooth invitation from the first date, the relationship may develop further. I think B1 or B2 would be best. That said, C gets the most offers. Just like Fuu, most papas want an adult relationship, and since they’re also paying membership fees and offer fees, they tend to prioritize value for money. Fuu doesn’t make offers to A or B types, though...

If you’re inexperienced and think that a first meeting, a second dinner without going to a hotel, and then hotel dates from the third meeting onward sounds like the safest approach, I think registering as B2 is the way to go. If, after the first meeting, you feel, “I’d like to meet once more just to make sure, without an adult relationship,” you can simply say, “I’m sorry,” and choose not to meet them a second time. You might feel that turning down an offer would be a waste, but with a B1 registration, men may suspect that you actually have no intention of going to a hotel—a “hidden A”—and you’ll receive fewer offers. So in the end, you’re better off registering as B2 and passing on anyone who feels they need a second dinner date. That way, you’re more likely to meet someone who will eventually go as far as the hotel—in other words, your total allowance will increase. There are also men who don’t necessarily want to go to a hotel, and B1 tends to attract those dinner-only papas.

Katase (female) Deep Breaths Sorry for the very late greeting. Thank you for becoming a respondent. I look forward to working with you. > If, after receiving an offer, I have the first meeting, dinner only with no hotel on the second date, and include a hotel from the third date onward, is that something men dislike or consider unacceptable? I definitely prefer things to progress that way. The more difficult someone is to win over, the more fun and exciting it is. For a B1, going to a hotel on the third date is, in a sense, the “shortest route,” so there’s no reason he’d dislike it. He offered to meet a B1 knowing that. This week, I’m staying overnight with an A-type girl for the second time. We haven’t even held hands yet, and of course, we haven’t hugged. I don’t plan to make a move this time either, but I’d be happy if we could make even a little progress. Taking things slowly and cherishing each step—that’s the best.

Happy New Year! I’m new here, having joined toward the end of last year. I look forward to getting to know everyone. As for the type of arrangement, it’s safest to choose from the “relationship types (A–D)” provided by the club. I assume male members choose female members from among those types, so with an unusual arrangement like this, you’d have to explain and seek their understanding each time, which can be a hassle. I don’t cover transportation costs unless it’s a long-distance trip, such as a round trip by bullet train. The people I’m currently seeing all receive only an allowance.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to decide everything from the start. As the relationship type suggests, it’s better to make that judgment over dinner first and then decide how to proceed. If you’re unsure at that point, you can bring it up during dinner. If they agree, you’ll continue with dinner; if not, you’ll simply part ways there. From the second meeting onward, it would be considered an arrangement, so there would generally be an allowance. In my case, I’ve had situations where the allowance was the same for an adult relationship (intimate) and dinner, once the relationship had begun. In that case, there’s a good chance the man really likes you and wants to continue seeing you. So, if there’s no hotel visit on the third meeting, I’d feel like I’d been played! (laughs)

That’s the general flow. First, Universe arranges the initial date. For this first date, the dating type you selected is respected. If you choose B1 or B2, the first meeting will be dinner only, and you’ll part ways afterward. At that point, the man will give you the club-standard ¥10,000 as compensation for transportation. If you want dinner again on the second date, B1 is the appropriate dating type. With B1, the man also understands that the second date will be dinner, so there shouldn’t be any issue. The allowance is probably often the same ¥10,000 as on the first date, but the allowance from the second date onward needs to be discussed and agreed on by both of you. So, during the first date, you should ask something like, “How much were you thinking for the allowance for a second dinner date?” If you’re comfortable with an adult relationship (intimate) by the third date, let him know during the second date and ask about the allowance as well. Of course, if it’s lower than you hoped, you may need to turn him down, so before agreeing to go to a hotel, ask, “About how much were you thinking for the allowance?” The problem, however, is that choosing B1 would be a waste if you’ve already decided to go to a hotel on the third date. B1 is generally understood to mean having dinner dates around five or six times before going to a hotel. So when men are making an offer, they may think, “If it might end after dinner only, I’ll pass on this one.” On the other hand, B2 is understood to mean going to a hotel on the second date, so the man may wonder, “Why are we having dinner again on the second date? Isn’t this misrepresenting the dating type?” Of course, choosing B2 doesn’t mean you absolutely have to go to a hotel. If you decide after the first date that you’re not comfortable with him, you’re perfectly entitled to decline the second date. The issue for men is that B2 implies the second date won’t be dinner only. However, if you happen to meet a kind man, you might be able to negotiate by saying, “Would you be willing to have one more dinner date with me? I’d be comfortable going to a hotel after that.” > Do you think it’s possible to receive transportation expenses for the second date? Unless it takes more than two hours each way to get there or requires traveling by bullet train, I think it’s better to assume that you won’t receive separate reimbursement for your actual transportation costs. However, if you ask about the allowance for the second dinner date during the first date, a man who has agreed to a specific amount won’t refuse to pay it. (If a man does break his promise, please report him to the club.)

Of course, you should expect to receive one. It’s normal to get more than just transportation expenses. Whether he’ll dislike you or not depends on the type of man he is. If he’s the kind of man who makes offers to B1-type women, I don’t think you need to worry about it. But if he only makes offers to C-type women, there’s a good chance he may not like it. More importantly, I think you should focus on what type of person you are and what kind of relationship you want. Do you place value on an adult relationship (intimate) and the allowance? Do you value simply being together and feeling comfortable? Do you value doing something together? Do you value sharing the same outlook? What people want and the kind of relationships they seek vary from person to person. The more you have in common, the closer the relationship becomes to that of partners rather than simply papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). If you have little in common, it will probably remain a club-based arrangement.