Who should cover the dry-cleaning cost if a man accidentally stains my coat?

I’m guessing it was probably a favorite coat of yours, so I’m sure it was upsetting that the man never brought up paying for the cleaning. That said, I think he simply doesn’t understand that kind of thing. He apologized and wiped it off, so he probably thought the matter was settled. He seems to be the kind of man who doesn’t make the connection: “I got it dirty” → “It needs to be dry-cleaned.” Ideally, I think you should gently ask him to cover the cleaning cost, but… Your feeling of “What if asking about this causes us to lose touch?” is exactly right. It would be a shame if the relationship ended because you asked him to pay. So, unfortunately, I think it would be better to give up on the few thousand yen for cleaning and prioritize maintaining the relationship for as long as possible. Wanting to charge him for the cost of the coat seems like an overreaction in general. I think it’s more reasonable to ask him to cover the cleaning cost if he got it dirty. Also, I believe most hotels can arrange cleaning services. Was it difficult because of the timing? If you had asked the hotel staff at check-in whether they could have the coat cleaned, he might have realized the situation then and offered to pay for it. I’d be sad if he just told you to use the hotel’s coin-operated laundry, though.

Regardless of whose fault it was, if it happened while you were spending time together, I think the man would normally offer to cover not only the cleaning bill but also the cost of a new coat—perhaps even suggest going shopping for one. It’s understandable that you wouldn’t feel good bringing it up yourself, so maybe wait and see how things go for a while… If you’re the one who mentions it, he may be much less inclined to pay for the coat. Depending on how she reacted that day, he might decide to cover the cost. But if she acted as though it were only natural, or seemed accustomed to being treated that way, he might lose the desire to pay altogether. If your relationship is close enough that you can talk about anything, you could bring it up the next time you meet. Besides, if this happened at a theme park—or nearby, whether inside or outside—it seems like you could have quickly bought a replacement coat or some other clothing. If he cared about you, I think he would have taken care of that first, especially if he was the one who spilled something on it. It’s sad that he didn’t even say anything like that. That may mean you shouldn’t expect that kind of consideration from him… Perhaps that’s simply the kind of relationship you have. If you want to build a mutually caring relationship going forward, I think you should at least mention the cleaning bill. You could also bring up what to do about the coat. However, if your relationship is mainly a transactional relationship connected by an allowance, it may be better not to say anything. I think it depends on what kind of relationship you want.

That sounds like an incredibly painful situation. Spending two days shivering in the cold, when your trip should have become a happy memory, must have left you feeling deeply saddened. First and foremost, it’s clear that the coat was stained because of the other person’s carelessness. The fact that they apologized is important, but “I apologized, so that’s the end of it” is not the same as showing sincerity through their subsequent actions. In particular, stains containing oil, such as chocolate drinks, can be expensive to have cleaned—and in some cases, they may not come out completely. To be honest, you probably understand that you could technically pay for the cleaning yourself out of the allowance you receive. But I think what’s bothering you isn’t the amount itself. It’s their attitude: even though they were clearly at fault, they apologized once and then said nothing more, simply letting the matter slide. What you want isn’t necessarily the money, but to hear, “I’m really sorry,” along with a genuine effort to make things right. They were the one in the wrong, after all. It’s completely natural to want them to show at least that much sincerity. I understand that you don’t want to damage the relationship, but calmly stating only the facts—“Actually, the stain on the coat was worse than I expected, so I think I’ll need to take it to the cleaners”—isn’t blaming them. Their reaction may help you decide whether they’re someone you can continue seeing with peace of mind. Please don’t suppress your feelings too much. I hope you’re able to continue your activities with a little more peace of mind. Don’t push yourself, and take care of yourself.

If it’s truly urgent, you probably shouldn’t be asking about it here—but I’ll offer my two cents anyway. From your post, it sounds like the young lady offered herself to her papa (a male supporter) and received a decent amount of Eiichi in return. In that case, take out one or two of those bills and run to a reputable dry cleaner. With tears in your eyes, say, “It was my grandmother’s keepsake,” while giving the bills a little flash. The dry cleaner will be thrilled, and will surely promise, “I’ll clean everything except your past.” Since your papa has apologized, please forgive him. You may not be satisfied, but even the most skilled dry cleaner can’t clean away the past. And please take this as a lesson and stop asking such brain-melting questions.

I’ll cover the dry-cleaning bill, though.

Don’t be so nitpicky! Sure, most people would say, “I’ll pay for the dry cleaning!” But loser guy is right!

I think the only response you’ll get is: “If you’re getting that much, why not at least pay for the cleaning? Are you okay with being cut off?”