A relationship involving money is easy to end, but in a conventional relationship, breaking up is often many times harder than getting together.
Still, that’s part of life experience, so maybe it’s fine to follow your heart and go all in.
Your 30s are great.
If you’re reasonably good-looking and can spend a lot of money, there may be a chance.
If you’re horrified when you look in the mirror, then it’s just a money-based relationship. Don’t let that get you down. You’re in paradise, where you can still enjoy a relationship that’s only about the money.
Marriage would be a ball and chain for life. Stay in the papa-katsu world and enjoy the next 30 years with the rest of us.
I’m also falling hard for a teenage college girl who’s Type A, so I catch myself wanting to check whether she’s actually interested, then come to my senses and think, “Damn, I’m being pathetic,” only to become a mess again. I keep going back and forth like that.
I think you’re having the best time right now. Asking questions like this must be fun, and so is getting excited or disappointed over each answer.
Enjoy it to the fullest, no matter how things turn out. I’m having an amazing time too.
If anything, I think you’ll feel a little deflated once you know the outcome.
“I’m okay meeting without any money” probably means exactly that. I’m not sure what the questioner means by “is she interested,” though I can kind of guess: are you asking whether this is a situation where you can feel the same sense of accomplishment you’d get from successfully winning over a woman in your private life and be happy about it? No.
It’s a common misconception among men in their 30s and 40s who are new to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—what I call “second-year papa-katsu syndrome.” You could also call it a mild case of genuinely falling for someone. It’s similar to those questions from papa-katsu women saying, “I’ve fallen seriously in love with my married papa (a male supporter). Do you think this love will work out?” Just think about it normally: of course it won’t. The way you met is what it is.
A friend of mine was told by a female college student he met through an app, “I work at a hostess club and want to become number one, so if you buy me champagne, I’ll have an adult relationship (intimate) with you without an allowance.” He spent ¥120,000 on bottles. I was also extremely curious whether he’d really be able to have H with her, and he successfully did. There are all kinds of people in this world, so I do think “If I can live on my own (if you support me with the money I need for that), I’ll meet you without any money” could technically happen as advance payment of the allowance. But it could also be a lie. Whether the questioner goes along with it or backs out is up to them.
Incidentally, my friend in the hostess-club case apparently wanted to confirm whether an adult relationship was really possible with her, rather than simply wanting H with her. He was more satisfied by having confirmed it than by the H itself. As proof, she told him, “Since the integer part of 12 divided by 3 is 4, I’ll have H with you three more times,” but he says, “I’ve lost interest, so I’m good.”
Doing papa-katsu is like entering the priesthood and taking refuge in Buddhism. You seem to be immersing yourself in a world of romance, but in reality, you’re placing yourself in a world farther removed from romance than anywhere else. Form is emptiness. Namu Amida Butsu. To all my foolish private-life escapades, may you rest in peace. At least, that’s what papa-katsu was for me. The questioner hasn’t realized where they stand. The world of papa-katsu is hell that looks like heaven, and a desert that looks like an oasis. As long as you keep your eyes closed, it’s heaven and an oasis.
Summer is almost over, but I found a spot among the rocks where I could collect turban shells, and since it seemed fun, I went free-diving to gather them. I must have strained muscles I don’t normally use, because now my lower back hurts. This is going to interfere with tomorrow’s H with a 19-year-old. What a problem. It serves me right for poaching them instead of just buying turban shells at a fish shop. I’m such an idiot, idiot, idiot. Still, hunting and gathering is instinctive, so it’s fun. Wooing women is fun in the same way as poaching turban shells. If I were in my 30s, I’d woo women privately instead of being involved in papa-katsu. Even if I got rejected or things turned into a complete mess. Grabbing a turban shell from a fish shop’s tank just doesn’t give you the same thrill as catching one while free-diving. It’s a primitive instinct.
