I’d appreciate your advice and opinions on negotiating an allowance for overnight dates and what the going rate is.
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It’s been two years since I joined the club. I recently ended a long-term relationship, so I started being active again and was lucky enough to meet someone wonderful.
At the beginning, he suggested meeting about twice a month for an allowance of 100,000 yen per pay-per-meeting date. Since I assumed that was the same arrangement I’d had with my previous supporters, I agreed.
However, I later realized that what he had in mind was staying overnight twice a month—from around noon on the first day until late afternoon the next day.
In my previous relationships, I had:
① several supporters I met for about four hours at a time for 100,000 yen, and
② supporters who paid 160,000–300,000 yen for overnight dates, depending on how long I was with them.
Giving up two full days for 100,000 yen feels unbalanced in terms of time and allowance, and I can’t help feeling uneasy throughout the dates.
To be honest, if we’re staying overnight, I’d like the allowance to be increased accordingly. This may sound blunt, but overnight dates involve multiple intimate encounters, and I sometimes find myself thinking that it’s actually cheaper than going to a high-end soapland.
I know I’m partly at fault for agreeing without confirming the details, and since I’ve already stayed overnight with him once under these terms, I’m finding it very difficult to bring up.
- When asking him to increase the allowance for overnight dates, would it be inappropriate to mention the terms I had with my previous supporters?
- I’d like the allowance to vary according to the amount of time I’m with him. Would it be rude—or make things feel too much like a “contract”—to set specific amounts for ① evening to the following morning, ② evening to the following afternoon, ③ noon to the following noon, and ④ noon to the following evening?
- In the past, I received an additional allowance depending on the number of intimate encounters. I assumed that was normal, but what do you all think?
I’d also be grateful to hear about your experiences regarding how you determine the allowance for overnight dates and what the going rates are.
Sorry for the long, disorganized post. I’m open to even harsh opinions, so I’d appreciate your honest feedback.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Well, if you don’t like it, you’ll have to say so. Be prepared for the possibility that he may end things.
It’s too late now, but for all the women doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) who are reading this:
The beginning is crucial.
You should have said something the first time you stayed over. Once you agree to something once, it becomes the default.
To the person asking the question: hang in there. It depends on the papa (a male supporter), so there’s no single right answer. Even if you assume she simply took it for granted, every papa has a completely different way of thinking.
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Allowance is really difficult. I still don’t know what the right answer is.
In my case, I give my top-tier monthly partners a set monthly amount whether we meet or not. Every one of them has had periods of nearly six months when we couldn’t meet for reasons on their end, but I still paid the agreed monthly amount during those times.
With my highest-priority monthly partners, I can’t bring myself to say, “You didn’t meet me, so I’m not paying you.”
On the other hand, I also have some pay-per-meeting partners. With some of them, we have detailed arrangements, like ●万円 for one round and ●●万円 for two rounds. Others get 12万円 whenever we meet, regardless of how many times.
There’s a new woman who negotiated during the messaging stage, saying, “I’m looking for an allowance of at least 10万円. If you can’t prepare that, let’s not meet.”
I replied that amount was fine, and we’re going to meet, but this kind of approach doesn’t leave a very good impression, does it? Still, I’m the type who can’t say no once we’ve met, so I’ll probably go through with it.
■Mr. Safe Zone
> By the way, I can control when I finish.
> If she finishes five times and I haven’t finished, how many rounds would that count as?
I totally get this. I can control my ejaculation too, so zero rounds is actually pretty common for me.
I’m satisfied if the woman finishes.
That’s why payments get complicated with the women I had detailed arrangements with, and I ultimately give them a larger amount. I don’t want any arguments.
■Mac
So you’re still alive.
Shiretoko is almost too timely.
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Not sure whether this will be helpful, but just before Obon, I took a one-night, two-day trip to the Shiretoko area of Hokkaido. I felt like playing Arctic fox—shooting outdoor photos wearing nothing but fox ears and a tail.
After each shoot, we had intercourse, and I kept tally marks on her lower abdomen with a marker. It came to 17 times over the two days, though I only ejaculated once.
The allowance was 5 since it was an overnight stay. She was 19.
A Ezo red fox happened to be walking along the road, so we were lucky enough to get a two-shot with it.
Five for 17 times means each time worked out to under 3,000 yen.
Men are supposed to give money, but women shouldn’t ask for money. If you’re unhappy, just leave quietly. That’s what I consider a proper relationship.
What makes a relationship ugly isn’t money—it’s negotiating over it.
Just as you can’t pass the ball forward in rugby, a woman saying, “Please increase my allowance,” is a bad move.
The only acceptable approach is to use emotional appeal and repeatedly emphasize that you need money. Never say “Give me money.” Instead, you subtly steer papa (a male supporter) into raising the amount out of his own generosity or giving you a bonus. It’s an advanced technique. Girls who can do it make it seem as natural as breathing, although most of them are usually pretty emotionally damaged. I’m not really sure why.
If you can’t do that and you’re unhappy, just leave quietly. Or give up and accept it.
Saying, “I just can’t accept an allowance lower than what I received from my previous supporter. I like you as a person, but I’m afraid I’ll have to end things. I’m truly sorry,” is just barely acceptable. At least it’s honest and straightforward.
Put some makeup on your heart, too. Don’t show your bare face.
>So you were still alive.
Are you talking about the story about being attacked by a bear? I’m basically never more than 10 meters from my car, so I’m fine. I also leave the engine running because I need to pack up and get out quickly if someone looks like they’re about to discover the shoot. I’ve had plenty of experience.
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Reading your post, I get the impression that you might be a professional, and I worry that the other person may be put off if you negotiate in that straightforward a way.
If you talk in terms of “this much per meeting” or “this much per hour,” even if you see the relationship as work, I don’t think the man will enjoy it.
That said, I understand wanting to have the time reflected in the allowance, since spending a long time together can be difficult when you haven’t built trust yet. Still, if you don’t have an established relationship, I think it may be better to start by:
- Declining overnight stays (in other words, avoiding long periods together for now)
- Not negotiating the amount
Of course, the man may see the allowance as compensation specifically for staying overnight, so he might say that he wants to lower it if you don’t stay over.
Whether you accept that or end things is entirely up to you.
> Does it come across as too much like a “contract”?
If you have firm preferences, I suppose that can’t be helped. However, if you’re looking to increase the amount, I think it would be better to wait until you’ve become closer.
P.S.
Shiretoko sounds wonderful. Since there aren’t many flights to Nakashibetsu Airport, would you be flying into Memanbetsu Airport? I think Kushiro Airport has more flights, but the drive would probably be longer.
In Hokkaido, there are places accessible from around Sapporo as well, but Shiretoko sounds like it would offer more of a natural, wilderness experience.
I believe locals tend to avoid getting too close to Ezo red foxes because of concerns about echinococcosis, but when you’re visiting, it’s exciting to see one appear.
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Men who like large breasts are willing to pay for them, but to someone who prefers small breasts, large breasts have no value at all.
Some people last an hour per round, while others last only ten minutes. So I think it’s better to find someone whose values match yours.
By the way, I can control when I climax. If my partner climaxes five times and I haven’t climaxed at all, I wonder how many rounds that would count as.
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A complete stranger has no way of knowing whether you should—or shouldn’t—do something.
If that’s the kind of question you want answered, ask a fortune-teller.
In most cases, if your expectations don’t align, you either communicate and try to work things out, or skip the hassle and stop seeing each other.
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Even if you’re reluctant and feeling conflicted, you’ll eventually get fed up and won’t be able to continue, so it’s better to say so sooner rather than later.
Four hours for 10, huh? If you’re going two rounds, maybe around 15? But staying until evening is a long time.
You could be more specific about the terms. Smile, give it your all, and say, “If you don’t give me 20, I don’t want to see you again ♥”
P.S.
Going all the way to Shiretoko and staying just one night is almost luxurious in its own way. The foxes sound fun.
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