I’ve genuinely fallen for my papa (a married man in his 40s).

Why not try telling him, “Just this once, you don’t have to give me an allowance”? If he says no, you can always add, “That’s fine too—I was just asking,” to keep your options open. If you want it to last, though, you’ll probably have to keep things the way they’ve been. That said, I also got serious for the first time in my seven years of doing this and told her I’d fallen for her—only to get blocked, lol. Being serious is taboo here. To keep yourself from getting too attached, spread your feelings around and date multiple people. If you’re always seeing someone new, you might meet someone even better ^⁠_⁠^ I thought the woman I’d fallen for was the best, but when I got desperate and made lots of offers, someone even better came along, lol. Rather than fixating on one person, I feel like your luck starts working in your favor when you keep trying your chances.

I’m the kind of person who enjoys seeing the hunter become the hunted. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with falling for someone even though you originally started seeing them for the allowance. Perhaps the questioner’s own sense of ethics doesn’t allow them to keep accepting the allowance as things stand. As I’ll explain below, though, I have a feeling that continuing to accept the money might allow the happy times to last longer. Just a feeling, of course. Mac calls the questioner selfish. I can see why he might say that. But I’m married myself and tend to be lenient toward my own behavior, so I don’t feel qualified to condemn the questioner. Besides, falling for someone basically means wanting to have them all to yourself. So even if they’re told they’re being selfish, the questioner probably can’t just back down that easily. Right. This is a bit of a tangent, but apparently Japanese waka poems contain overwhelmingly more poems about the subtleties between men and women than Chinese poetry does. In China, alcohol is said to be a major theme. I recently read a book that suggested relationships between men and women may be something distinctly Japanese, and I found that quite striking. Another tangent: Natsume Soseki, considered one of the leading figures of modern Japanese literature, repeatedly wrote about love triangles in works such as *And Then*, *Kokoro*, *The Gate*, and *Light and Darkness*. When I was younger and had little experience with romance, I used to scoff, “Are love triangles really that interesting?” Whether they’re interesting or not, though, I now think they’re probably the basic framework of human relationships. Anyway, back to the point. In short, the questioner is completely immersed in a very traditionally Japanese? kind of relationship between a man and a woman—and in the love triangle everyone loves so much. (Since the papa is married, it is a love triangle.) You may say that this is no help at all, so let me finish with a modest personal anecdote. Even I, an unpopular old man incapable of having a sophisticated relationship, have been told by two women in the past, “You don’t need to give me an allowance anymore.” I remember feeling incredibly happy at those words, as though I had finally been acknowledged as a man. However, once I stopped giving them an allowance, both relationships became complicated. With one woman, I became too deeply involved; with the other, she became too deeply involved with me, and neither relationship worked out. Money has the power to change relationships between men and women—not only at the Space Club. In *Kokoro*, the teacher recounts how he was cheated out of money by a relative. What I’m trying to say is, please consider the option of continuing to accept the allowance as before. First, of course, tell the questioner how you feel—that you want to continue seeing them even without the allowance. Life is a tearjerker! And life is short, so fall in love while you can!

If the other person were married and I genuinely fell in love with them, I think I would step aside and end things if I were a woman. I wouldn’t want to cause them any trouble. I felt that the questioner was being selfish and only thinking about themselves.

I think it’s just the usual lonely person who only gets attention here, pretending to be a woman and asking questions. > Because I don’t want things to end If that’s the case, then you can simply continue seeing him as you have been without doing anything.

That papa is lucky to have met a PJ who feels that way about him. If you’re meeting at a hotel, something like, “You’ve given me so much allowance, so from now on, I’d like to cover the hotel costs. I’m just happy that you’re willing to see me,” would probably be a safe way to put it. I’ve been having so much fun going on dates with this teenage Type A girl that she’s completely shaken up the rankings among my monthly arrangements. It’s not like I’m genuinely in love with her, but I am doing serious papa-katsu with her, lol. She’s seriously adorable. I’d like us to keep things dinner only for about three years, but who knows what will happen. She’s a strong candidate to eventually become the ace’s successor after she graduates from my roster.

This seems to be the usual person, but I’m in the mood to answer this time. How someone takes something depends on the person, as well as the situation and timing. That’s why I don’t think there’s any perfect way to phrase it. If they’ve said that “it’s important to pay money,” I don’t think you should tell them you want to stop the allowance. If someone said that to me, I’d be put off, feel uneasy, and at the very least keep my distance. It may vary from person to person, but to me, it would be about as impactful as saying, “I want to have your child.” If you absolutely feel you have to do something, I think it’s best to limit it to something like, “I feel like I’m receiving too much allowance.”