My papa (a male supporter) said he’d like to give me something I want as a gift and asked me to tell him what I’d like. I told him that I’m happy just spending time together and that nothing came to mind when he asked me so suddenly.

In situations like that, it’s important to think, “What does this papa (a male supporter) actually want to give me?” and respond accordingly. If he mentions clothes, bags, or a hotel he wants to visit, there are several possibilities: maybe he wants to choose the woman’s clothes together, show off while shopping at a brand-name store, or visit a hotel he himself wants to try, with the questioner encouraging him by saying she’d like to go too. People’s preferences vary, but the important point is that the papa doesn’t necessarily want to make the questioner happy—he wants to give her a present. You could even call it the performance of giving a gift. Don’t misunderstand that. And when you receive a gift, make sure to show your happiness clearly and unmistakably. That’s also part of the performance. The questioner is doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and must not forget that she is being paid to play the role of an actress. Also, if you want jewelry, don’t directly say you want it. Instead, casually hint at it when you happen to see something in town or on some other occasion: “I’d love to have something like that, but I can’t afford it right now. Maybe I’ll buy it myself someday when I’ve saved enough.” Encourage the papa to spontaneously think, “Then maybe I should buy it for her.” Repeat this process. Never ask him outright to buy it for you. This kind of psychological manipulation is something hosts, yakuza, and paid-dating women all have in common. Saying “I want something from 4℃” is easy on the wallet, which is nice, but unless you’re ordering online, it’s a little tacky for an older guy to give a young woman 4℃ at an actual store. I feel that way from personal experience—I’ve actually bought it for someone before. Van Cleef is a little problematic for a different reason. What 4℃ and Van Cleef have in common is that neither is really something you’ll keep for life. Van Cleef pieces are almost like status badges depending on their size, so a Van Cleef piece that suits someone in her twenties won’t necessarily suit her in her thirties or forties. I see it as something a woman buys for herself as proof of her professional success, rather than something she receives as a gift. I recommend Tiffany’s Smile necklace. Not the mini, but the regular size. It suits people of all ages, so you can use it as a lifelong piece. I’ve bought one as a keepsake for girls I helped move past their virginity and then continued seeing afterward—probably about five in total. The trick is to check the item number in advance, decide what you want, and go to the store ready to buy it. Otherwise, the sales staff will recommend expensive diamond pieces and make things complicated. The last girl I helped move past her virginity through this question box stopped contacting me after we’d been intimate about ten times. She had no interest in brands at all and said she liked foxes, so I searched online and bought her a cute silver necklace with a fox motif. Maybe she still occasionally checks this site. I had told her, “When you no longer need me, you don’t have to say goodbye. Just block me on LINE and I’ll understand. I won’t become a stalker. I’ll come up with a story that works for me, give it a happy ending, and turn it into a good memory.” She did exactly that. It was a good way to part. I never become attached, but I do think of her from time to time. Thank you for the wonderful encounter. I’ve bought iPhones for two girls. The first was for a girl who came to me crying after a man who found out about her papa-katsu and other things threw her phone at her and broke it. I immediately bought her the exact same model in the exact same color. The second was recently, as a farewell gift for a girl who went abroad to study. She sometimes sends me photos of her life there, saying, “It’s been such a huge help.” I never contact her first. The girls who are university students are taking their final exams, so lately we’ve been studying together every night. Last night was law. It’s interesting to catch a glimpse of the modern world of fields I know nothing about. In the morning, I made komatsuna miso soup and fried eggs, fed her breakfast, and saw her off at six. What life number am I on, anyway? How many times have I seen scenes like this? But I’m getting close to seventy, so maybe it’s becoming difficult to form new relationships. Knowing when to step away from work—and when to step away from playing around with women—is difficult too.

If your papa (a male supporter) is in STEM or tends to think logically, it’s best to simply ask, “What kind of budget did you have in mind?” He’ll usually tell you roughly how much he’s willing to spend, and then you can just directly tell him what you’d like within that amount. When you receive it, though, make sure to show your appreciation about ten times more enthusiastically than usual. The more over-the-top, the better—like you’re practically jumping for joy. That will make him think, “Maybe I’ll buy her something again next time.” I think the basic idea behind giving someone a present is wanting to see them happy, after all. Showing how happy you are is probably the most important thing. Of course, there are always exceptions, and everyone is different. But if he’s asking what you want, I feel like it’s probably fine to ask about his budget too. Also, asking for something popular these days, like a Switch 2, could work—but it depends on whether he’s the kind of person who can easily get items that are hard to find.

Papa should give cash or an Amazon gift card, too. What about an iPhone? If he said, “That way, you’ll always feel like it came from me ❤️,” I’d be totally won over.

“Honestly, I’d love something I can wear—like a necklace or ring—so I can always feel close to my papa.” I think he’d be really happy to hear that, so you could just say it as it is. “I feel like asking for jewelry the first time might come across as a bit too much.” That thoughtfulness is lovely too. Since you’re hoping to continue seeing him, you could go for an affordable brand like 4°C and say something like, “I know everyone makes fun of 4°C, but it’s more than enough for me☆” You should definitely avoid Van Cleef and Tiffany.

I always decline gifts, and I’ve never given an expensive present, even for a birthday. Since many of them live alone, I often let them choose some ready-made meals, prepared foods, or frozen items depending on the season, buy plenty of them, and give them to take home when we say goodbye. As an answer to your question, how about saying, “I’d love some jewelry engraved with your initials”? It’s not exactly the Hawaiian jewelry that was popular years ago, but I think your papa (a male supporter) would be absolutely delighted. Hope this helps.

After reading the question, I thought “traveling together” might be a good option.

Whenever I see questions like this, I wonder how someone can be unsure what to give a person they’ve been seeing for a reasonable amount of time. If you talk regularly, it seems like you should be able to easily think of something the other person would be happy to receive. In your case, the man has already suggested some options and is trying to establish communication, so I think it would be better to discuss it with him rather than survey complete strangers here. What people are happy—or unhappy—to be asked for varies from person to person, and I think it also depends on who they’re dealing with.