I currently receive ¥100,000 for each overnight stay when we meet.
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At first, I was only thinking about myself, so I was simply happy to receive that much. But the more often we meet, the more I’ve come to like him.
Whenever we meet, he prepares various drinks and arranges a hotel, so I feel I must be putting quite a financial burden on him. I also understand that, since he’s married, he has expenses related to his family.
If I told him I wanted to cut my allowance in half, would he feel as though I were only taking pity on him?
Honestly, I’d like to see him without receiving any money, but I spend money on my appearance to meet him, so I can’t quite take that step…
At the same time, I’d hate for him to think I only come to see him because he pays me, so I’m feeling conflicted.
From a man’s perspective, would you rather continue seeing me with the allowance at its current amount, or would you prefer that I reduce it?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
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> From a man’s perspective, which would make him more likely to want to meet: continuing to meet for the current allowance, or reducing the allowance?
You’re the one who knows the man in question. I think you should first carefully gauge his personality and what he does and doesn’t like before taking action.
There’s also a chance he’ll cut ties as soon as you bring up reducing the allowance, and you’ll no longer be able to see him.
So the safest option is probably to leave things as they are.
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Since he’s a papa (a male supporter) who uses a dating club, he probably wants to keep things transactional.
Telling a papa who wants to draw a clear line with money that you don’t need an allowance could be risky.
Even if you’ve fallen for him, he may not feel the same way yet. It’s also possible that he’s seeing multiple women.
Rather than fixating on just one person, you might be better off seeing multiple people and spreading out your feelings. Once this activity starts weighing too heavily on you, it tends to put you at a disadvantage.
I feel that learning to manage your emotions so you don’t become jealous or possessive is the key to making this last.
That said, I’m in my seventh year of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and last year I fell for one of my monthly arrangements. When I told her how I felt, she blocked me, lol.
Be careful.
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Rather than asking to reduce the allowance, I personally appreciate it when she saves it up and gives me something in return—like a suit or a trip—or makes a major investment in earning a qualification and says, “I’m going to pursue this qualification with the allowance you’ve always given me. Thank you.” Then we might go on a date near her school.
My top girl is really good at giving back in ways like this, which makes me loosen the purse strings and strengthens my trust in her.
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