How did you grow closer to your favorite monthly arrangement partner? Past partners are fine too, whether you were the woman or the papa.
I try to maintain a comfortable distance without getting too close to the women, but as a result, I’ve found it difficult to really become close with anyone, and I’m not sure what to do.
If I try to close the distance myself, I might put pressure on her. But if I don’t make any effort, we’ll never get any closer either. I feel stuck.
I don’t think being a convenient papa is necessarily a bad thing, and I’m not looking for a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Still, I’d like to get a little closer.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
You can probably get a sense of what kind of relationship someone wants by looking at the name they use on LINE—whether it’s yours or theirs.
People who use symbols, emojis, or just a single character are probably treating papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as an activity, while those who use their real names are more likely to be looking for a relationship. Even someone using a single character may eventually share their personal LINE account if things develop into a relationship.
Normally, if someone has nothing to hide, they’ll use a LINE name that reveals their real name. So I think you can get a rough idea of the kind of relationship they’re looking for from that.
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In my case, I go all out pursuing women who are struggling financially and seem like they could be exclusive with me. We visit each other’s homes often and grow close.
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I understand how you feel.
I’m Fuu. After six years of papa-katsu—and now entering my seventh—I fell for a woman, told her I liked her, and got rejected.
You really have to assess things carefully.
If you don’t want to break up and want to keep having enjoyable sex, a convenient, no-strings-attached relationship might last the longest.
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I think it’s perfectly fine to remain a papa who’s convenient for her.
Once you’ve been seeing each other for eight years, it feels just right not to become too close. I’m an old, married man, and there’s more than a 40-year age gap between us, so given the circumstances, neither of us gets too involved in the other’s life.
That seems to be the natural place for a relationship through a dating club to settle.
That doesn’t mean the relationship is shallow, though.
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Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of questions like, “How are things with the people who answer?” It makes me wonder whether the same person is just pretending to be someone else and posting under different identities.
Why not start by describing exactly what went wrong?
- Where did you first meet?
- Where did you go for dinner?
- How long did it take to get from the meeting place to the restaurant?
- Had you made a reservation, or did you wander around looking for somewhere on the spot?
- Was the restaurant crowded?
- Did you give her the transportation money before sitting down to eat?
- How much did you give her?
- What did you talk about during dinner?
- Did the conversation flow?
- Did you invite her to a hotel afterward?
- Did you mention the allowance when you invited her?
- How much did you offer?
- Was the hotel a love hotel or not?
If you provide that level of detail, people may be able to point out things like, “Maybe this was the problem.”
> “If I’m the one who tries to close the distance, I might put pressure on her.”
I’m not sure what you mean by this. Are you saying you’ll wait until she’s the one who closes the distance?
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By gauging the distance the woman was comfortable with and respecting that boundary as we dated, we gradually became closer.
I think the level of closeness people prefer varies from person to person, depending on who they’re with and the situation.
Based on the question, it seems the issue may be that you’ve unilaterally decided what you consider to be the “right amount of distance” without getting too close to a woman.
Rather than deciding that on your own, I think it’s important to pay attention to the other person and communicate accordingly.
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