I’m new to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and I’m a man in my 50s. I’d appreciate some advice.

I think young women should date different kinds of people to gain life experience. Women who especially want children have only a limited amount of time to enjoy dating freely. They may date and break up with a boyfriend, try papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and so on. During that process, there may be periods when they’re exclusive with one person, and periods when they aren’t. However, forcing someone to be exclusive takes away opportunities to gain life experience, so I think they should be compensated accordingly. If the other person is over 40, though, I think being exclusive is perfectly reasonable. Sorry if by “exclusive” you meant that she can have as many boyfriends as she wants, but only one papa (a male supporter).

Joe is amazing. An exclusive arrangement isn’t something that happens from the start—it naturally develops after you’ve supported her wholeheartedly for a while and grown close. P.S. Mac is amazing too. The number of people is incredible. Sounds like fun. Someone from Sapporo is staying at my place right now. She’ll be here for four days and three nights. We’ve been going to Olive Spa and Chiikawa Ramen. I’ve known this girl for 11 years now. P.S. Yesterday, we went to a planetarium, had conveyor-belt sushi, and bought some cake at Chateraise to eat at home. It was funny how she slept through the entire planetarium show and then turned the cake upside down and completely messed it up. (It was still edible.)

Well, at the end of the day, it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so I think you just need to offer the woman the allowance she wants to earn. The idea of having just one person is more like the old-fashioned “mistress” model from the Showa era, right? You might be able to make that work if you gave her an apartment and set up a monthly payment of several hundred thousand yen, but… Papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is basically that old-fashioned mistress arrangement reimagined as a modern, installment-based subscription model. I’m grateful to Universe Club for making it light and accessible enough for people at about the Fuu level to get involved, though… But who knows—if you look through the profiles, you might find yourself wanting to date multiple women. Since it’s possible, why not give this dreamlike setup a try, thinking of it as being fooled in the best possible way? Humans are living animals, after all. Biologically and genetically speaking, it takes at most three years—often just one—to get bored of being intimate with the same person. We want to leave behind as many of our genes as possible, so we quickly start wanting to plant our seed in another body. It’s just instinct, haha.

Although I’m over 60 and still wandering around without having mastered the art of a sophisticated relationship, I’ll venture an answer. First, the thoughts that came to mind after reading your question: 1. You’re old enough to know better—stop asking all these questions. 2. Confucius is crying. Learn what it means to know your destiny! 3. It’s only through uncertainty that you truly experience papa-katsu! Enjoy the thrill of it! 4. After taking a long, hard look in the mirror, read your own question aloud in the style of Professor Saito. Now for the advice: 1. Prepare one bundle first—obviously, an eight-figure sum. 2. Divide that bundle into ten equal parts. 3. Use up one part for each offer. 4. Once you’ve used it up, put your hand on your chest and think. If you still haven’t reached a conclusion, prepare another bundle. Wishing you the best in your deliberations. I hate to say it, but don’t cheap out. By the way, when I went to Mexico with Emily last month, I ended up using two portions—not solely for her allowance, of course.

What I always tell every woman is: - I’m fine with you having a boyfriend. If you don’t have one, I’d actually like you to find one. - I’m also fine with you having any number of other papas. I’ll even listen to you and offer advice on how to get along with them. Just sincerely telling them these two things is enough to make 99% of women open up to me. Whether it turns into a one-on-one arrangement or not is ultimately a matter of how things work out, so all you can do is make a 120% effort with her. “I want you to myself.” That’s practically a suicidal move. It’s the kind of line that makes women shut down more than anything. If you’re a handsome older guy with plenty of money, maybe you can get away with insisting that she only see you—but otherwise, it’s a forbidden phrase. P.S.: I really want to read the novel about Emily. I wonder when Darling is coming back… P.P.S.: I went on my first adult date with a B2 woman who has a boyfriend, and she had already taken off her panties before leaving home. It was incredibly exciting. What is this? Normally, I take things step by step before becoming intimate, but she seems to genuinely love it—especially unconventional play. When I did everything she couldn’t ask her boyfriend to do, she looked absolutely blissful. I’ve never met a woman like her before. The world is a big place…

I think one-on-one arrangements are actually pretty common. I’m currently seeing several women, but each relationship is one-on-one. Well, in my case, it’s not one-on-one because I’m the reason（笑). But I don’t see any signs of other men on their side, and even when I haven’t asked, they’ll say things like, “You’re the only one.” I’d say this kind of arrangement is fairly common. If that’s something you strongly want, why not make it clear from the very first meeting? There are women like that too. I get the impression that many of the women who message me on PATOLO are looking for that kind of relationship. Personally, though, I’m not really into it. It feels like they’re girls in love with the idea of love. Somehow, it seems like the other person isn’t really part of the equation, which puts me off. I prefer the feeling of, “I want to be with you specifically. Anyone else just won’t do.” I do think that privately, but I don’t say it out loud. If you want to get that with money, then just be extremely generous with your offers. It’s what you might call “the violence of money.” It doesn’t work on everyone, but a lot of women do fall for it, and men know that, so that arena is thriving. I’m not getting involved, though（笑). So, if I had to give my own answer: 1. Make an offer quickly to women who are likely to be popular—beautiful with a large bust. If she seems a little difficult but you personally like her, you can move at your own pace. 2. On the first date, go easy on the alcohol and be the best version of yourself from beginning to end. Fully commit to playing the role of a genuinely nice guy or a charming older gentleman. 3. If your terms don’t match, accept it and move on. Rather than compromising on ongoing costs, it’s better to invest in the initial introduction fee. 4. Once you meet a woman whose terms and personality suit you, tell her wholeheartedly that you want to cherish her. Get over your embarrassment, and put your possessiveness aside for the moment. 5. Don’t miss the signs she gives you: coy gestures, lingering looks, or a kiss during an intimate moment. Ideally, you should respond right then, but if you think about it afterward and wonder, “Could that have meant something?” send her a message saying, “I like you.” Don’t hide behind elaborate reasoning; it’s better to simply express your feelings. Everything depends on whether you can make that exchange happen. Don’t miss the moment of truth. Once you actually become close, it’s perfectly normal to find that she has a very different, more complicated side than the persona she shows in public. Some women also have fairly troublesome problems, and you may end up being pulled in all sorts of directions. The important thing is to keep asking yourself whether you genuinely enjoy dealing with those things—or whether, when you really think about it, all you wanted was to be with an attractive woman and have a fulfilling intimate relationship. You need to keep questioning yourself and find your own path. Taro

You don’t need to take it so seriously. Women ideally want to be with just one person too… But that won’t happen unless someone who exceeds those ideals comes along, so the priority is for the woman you’re seeing to feel that way about you. No matter how much you perfect the terms of the arrangement, unless you’re the kind of man she genuinely wants, being with you may feel like something she has to put up with. Even if she chooses to focus on just one person, it may not be something that can truly be called a relationship. ① This isn’t sex work or a business, so can a relationship chosen based on terms really be called dating? If a woman is looking for a genuine relationship, she may see a man who flaunts the power of his money as someone who thinks he can do anything as long as he has money. ② If both of you want to stay with one person for a long time, then factors beyond the terms of the arrangement become even more important. ③ Since it’s the woman who decides whether she wants that, it wouldn’t be surprising if a man offering an arrangement to a woman he likes came across as creepy to her.

Women in these arrangements usually want to meet various men and earn some money first, so at the beginning, it’s probably difficult to have an exclusive one-on-one arrangement. But don’t worry. As Makeotoko often says, men are also looking for even better women. So I think it’s common for things to end after meeting a few times. If you continue seeing a woman after deciding, “I guess this is good enough,” the arrangement will probably continue indefinitely. As the woman gradually has fewer men she’s seeing, she’ll start valuing the men who meet with her regularly（笑） Eventually, it’ll become just the two of you. Don’t worry! Oh, in my case, it took nearly six months from when we first met. The woman left the dating club after about three months to avoid being recognized. I had wanted an exclusive arrangement from the beginning. It’s already been eight years since we started seeing each other. I give her a fixed allowance twice a month, and she seems happy to come on our dates too. Even though she keeps saying she wants to quit, I wonder what’s going on（笑）

I’m not quite sure what you mean by “joining papa-katsu.” ① For starters, assume that the “desired monthly amount” listed in a profile is just a rough figure. For example, if you were changing jobs and were asked in an interview, “How much salary would you like?” what would you say? Some people might clearly answer, “I want ¥20 million,” but most people probably wouldn’t be that specific. They might say something around what they earned at their previous job. When changing jobs, you can use your previous salary as a reference and ask for a little more, about the same, or a little less. But when getting a job for the first time, you have no such benchmark, so you’d probably look online to see what people generally say and give that answer. I think that’s similar to stating a salary that isn’t actually what you truly want. After that, how many times that amount someone wants will vary from person to person. But when you see women online proudly writing that they receive ¥1 million or ¥2 million a month, you may start thinking you want something similar. With that in mind, if you want to focus on just one person, I think it’s reasonable to consider ¥1 million or more per month. Depending on the person, though, even ¥1 million may not be enough to interest them. And it’s not as simple as saying that money alone is the desired amount. Appearance and personality can be important too. There are people you simply couldn’t be with even if they paid you ¥1 million. It’s like a car: having only a good engine isn’t enough, and neither a good chassis nor good tires alone will do the trick. The cars that win races are the ones that are excellent overall. ② I think the man should be the one to bring it up. I once heard about a woman who asked a man after their date how he felt about it. Apparently, he had gone on at length about the kind of relationship he wanted, and it seemed he was looking for a marriage partner. His intentions didn’t seem to match hers. When she asked him about it, he apparently said that he hadn’t mentioned an allowance because he assumed it was a given. Even if you consider it obvious, the terms still need to match. And if there’s a chance the woman might think you’re looking for a marriage partner, I think you should explain yourself clearly. That said, choose the timing carefully. Just because you’ve been told to bring it up doesn’t mean you should make it the very first thing you say at the dinner table. I think it’s better to start with a pleasant conversation. ③ Is it strange to want a one-on-one relationship? Is it just a fantasy? It isn’t a fantasy, but I’d like you to ask yourself whether you’re truly prepared to spend a considerable amount of your assets.