This was an interesting question to me, so please allow me to offer my perspective.
Let me say this upfront: even if you, the questioner, have a personality that makes it difficult to trust people, that has absolutely nothing to do with your family environment.
You may not believe this, but personality issues and family circumstances are completely unrelated. In other words, if your personality is warped, that is primarily your own responsibility.
I’m not making fun of you. On the contrary, you’ve correctly recognized your current situation—that you’re somewhat warped. That’s impressive, especially for someone young!
The mistake is assuming that this comes from your family environment. There aren’t many things in this world that are 100% wrong, but this is one of those rare cases.
Why? Because that kind of thinking is uncool. And if you drift through life without much thought, becoming warped is actually quite normal.
My own family environment was extremely privileged, not only financially but in many other ways as well. Even so, I was incredibly warped when I was young.
You’re young, so naturally you’ll have plenty of doubts, and there will be some trial and error. If your relationship is related to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), then perhaps my advice is beside the point. Still, you mustn’t blame your own issues on your family environment going forward.
I’ll say it plainly: it’s uncool, and your life belongs to you. Even if you share blood ties, you are a separate person from your parents.
You’re young, so keep going!
It’s not necessarily dirty, though.
Some people can’t fall for just one person, while others can have feelings for multiple people. That’s simply part of who they are, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
Blaming it on a dysfunctional family won’t change anything. Rather than blaming it on this or that, wouldn’t it be better to think about who you want to be and how you can spend your time feeling happy and comfortable? Try to stay positive—you can’t change the past.
If you can’t stand the idea of the older man you’re interested in seeing other women, then you should stop pursuing him. Alternatively, you could have a friends-with-benefits partner and do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with that older man if you want.
If you want to date a rich man, keep in mind that rich men tend to be popular, and women won’t leave them alone. So if you’re aiming for true love, you’d probably be better off looking for an unpopular man without money.
I think making too many assumptions will only make things harder for you.
Why not sign up here and see if you can enjoy yourself?
Is this another bait post by K-san?
If they’re younger, I’m the one who makes the first move, so when someone approaches me, it probably won’t lead to anything good.
It’s not exactly a dirty question, but…
I’m put off if someone is too forward, so I’d say:
- Replies reasonably quickly
- Maintains an appropriate distance
- Is enthusiastic about sex
In the end, compatibility matters most, so the way someone approaches me probably only accounts for about half of it.
