I need advice about my papa (a male supporter), who’s in his 60s. His body odor has become unbearably strong. We’ve been seeing each other for five years, and he gives me a fairly generous allowance each month. He’s also a genuinely good person, so I don’t want to end things.

If you don’t want to break up, I think it’s best to continue seeing him as you have been, without saying anything. However, if you feel that: “His age-related odor is just too strong,” “I’m genuinely uncomfortable with it,” “I’ve reached my limit,” then telling him could lead to the relationship ending, but if you really can’t stand it anymore, I think you should say something. I’m not sure how subtle you intend to be, but if you sugarcoat it too much, the message won’t get through. I think you should be fairly direct. That said, simply pointing it out won’t make the smell go away, so you should probably also suggest specific ways he can deal with it. If you want him to use a spray, go shopping for one together, buy it for him at first, and show him where to apply it at the hotel. If you think he also needs soap designed to help with age-related odor, buy that for him and show him how to use it at the hotel. I think it would be reasonable to go that far. Of course, unless you’re very close, there’s a good chance he might end things immediately. But if you’ve been together for five years, I feel like it may be okay. This is assuming you truly can’t put up with it anymore. If you can tolerate it, I think saying nothing is probably best. Besides, if the odor really is that strong, other women will likely leave him too, so it could also be an effective way to reduce the competition.

I don’t have a very sensitive sense of smell, but there have been times when someone who normally didn’t smell bad suddenly had really strong bad breath. I asked them, “Have you been having stomach or digestive issues lately? Are you eating properly?” Since they said they can’t notice their own smell, would it be okay to ask something like, “Your skin-oil smell seems pretty strong—have you been tired lately?” It doesn’t have to be “skin-oil smell”; I’m open to other wording too. Basically, do you think it would be best to bring it up as if I’m genuinely concerned about their health?

Apparently, aging-related body odor is caused by an increase in a compound called nonanal as we get older. And scrubbing obsessively to get rid of the smell can actually make things worse—the trick is to wash gently, as if giving yourself a massage. I heard this from the female doctor I’m currently seeing. Even more effective is eating blackcurrants or blueberries. It seems to take a little time before you notice results, though. Before you open your legs, try sprinkling these on some yogurt and eating them together—make it a habit!

It was a tough one, so I asked ChatGPT for you instead lol. Looks like we won’t need answerers anymore lol. Body odor related to aging can be a delicate issue, but if you care about your relationship with this person, it’s important to find a way to bring it up without hurting their feelings as much as possible. 1. How to bring it up casually Telling them directly, “Your body odor is really strong,” could hurt their feelings, so why not try a gentler approach like these? “Lately, I feel like your sweat smells a little stronger than usual. Are you tired?” → Framing it as concern for their health makes it sound less aggressive. “I’m really sensitive to smells… and there’s something I’ve noticed lately…” → By making it about your own sensitivity, they’re less likely to become defensive. “Why don’t we try a new body wash or fragrance together?” → Making it a positive suggestion, such as “I think this would suit you,” can naturally encourage them to make a change. 2. Indirect ways to encourage improvement Give them odor-control products for their clothes → Give them detergent or fabric softener with deodorizing effects, saying, “This smells really nice—try using it!” Suggest changes to their diet → Body odor related to aging can be affected by diet, including eating a lot of meat and greasy foods. You could suggest, “Why don’t we eat more vegetables and Japanese-style food for our health?” Do skincare together → For example, suggest going to a spa together and encourage them to try deodorizing care products. 3. As a last resort if you really can’t stand it If it’s truly unbearable, creating a little distance is also an option. You could adjust how often you meet by giving a reason such as, “I’ve been feeling especially sensitive lately.” Ultimately, the best approach is to find a way to bring it up that doesn’t damage the relationship while also being in the other person’s best interest.

You don’t want to break up, right? Maybe try breathing through your mouth. That’s what I do when a woman’s vagina or butt smells. Although, if I were the person asking, I’d just break up with him. I’m in my 60s too, but I shower twice a day—morning and evening—and sometimes even three times a day, including at lunchtime. I change my shirt and underwear morning and night. I’ve even asked the women at work to tell me without hesitation if they notice any age-related odor. So far, they say I’m fine. But even if you point it out to a self-unaware 60-year-old man at this point, I doubt he’ll make the kind of effort I do. Once a man is over 50, what matters is cleanliness and his wallet. Aim to be an old man who smells like soap. If you absolutely have to say something, start with, “I’m only telling you because I want you to stay youthful forever, but…” Whatever you do, don’t say, “You stink, you old geezer!”

Keeping in mind that you don’t want to break up, why not tell him clearly—in words—instead of hinting at it? People usually don’t notice their own age-related body odor, just as someone who wears strong perfume becomes desensitized to its scent. If you’re close, he’ll understand, and may even thank you for telling him.

Why not think it through yourself? I have no idea whether you should tell them or not.