A man I’ve met three times gave me a piece of jewelry. If I don’t wear it when we meet next time, will I hurt his feelings? I’d appreciate some insight into what men might be thinking.
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It was a heart-shaped ring, and when I looked up the price, it was around 15,000 yen. I was genuinely happy to receive a gift even though it wasn’t a special occasion. But honestly, rather than the price, I found myself thinking that a heart-shaped design might be difficult to wear casually. It’s not quite my taste, but since he went out of his way to give it to me, would it be best to wear it when we meet in the future if I want to keep seeing him?
Also, if it were from the same brand, I would have preferred a necklace in a design other than a heart. Is there any subtle way to let him know that?
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I’d wear it, for sure! I’d even send you a LINE message with a selfie so you could see me wearing it.
If I really didn’t like it, I’d gradually stop wearing it while we were seeing each other.
And if he asked, “You’re not wearing it?” I’d say:
“I’m sorry, I lost it… Next time, I’d be happy if you got me a simple necklace instead of a heart one—or something I genuinely want, if there is anything. I’m really, really sorryyy. Even though you went out of your way to buy it for me, I was taking such good care of it that I’d remove it when doing chores so it wouldn’t get scratched (; ;)”
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Open Heart, lol.
That’s definitely a generational thing~
It was popular when Fuu was in college or just starting their career, right?
So price-wise, it’s not Tiffany & Co., then.
If he’s not a high-priority papa, you could probably make him realize it wasn’t really your taste by not wearing it—but it’s a gamble.
If you wear it, he’ll be happy, get the wrong idea, and you might end up receiving nothing but unwanted gifts, lol.
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If you’re okay with losing him, don’t wear it.
If you want to keep seeing him, only wear it when you’re on a date with your papa.
What do you think a papa who gives you gifts you never asked for is actually paying for?
With a papa like that, it’s probably best to only tell him your preferences when he asks.
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Start wearing them, and papa will be delighted. Then maybe use that as an opportunity to tell him what you like?
As Masahiko sang:
“Gleaming brightly, yet casually, casually—
that’s the way I live.”
Would that work?
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I don’t think it would be a problem if you don’t wear it, but what matters more is whether you showed genuine excitement when you received it.
The moment you receive it is what counts. After that, I feel most men don’t really care whether you actually wear it or not.
(Some men may care, so I think you should get a sense of where he stands.)
> I would have preferred a necklace with a design other than a heart, even if it was from the same brand. Is there any subtle way to communicate that?
I think some papa-katsu pros could probably get the message across subtly, but for most people, the choices are either to say it directly or not say anything at all.
In general, I think it’s safest not to say anything. It’s probably best to answer only if he asks what kind of thing you want.
Other than that, I think you should accept it as a gift given with his feelings in mind.
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I don’t think you should continue seeing him (if your goal is to have a genuinely enjoyable, good relationship rather than simply play it safe).
It’s understandable to feel conflicted when you think about the future, but if you keep seeing him, he’ll probably continue giving self-centered gifts and making self-centered gestures.
For a woman, there’s nothing more wonderful than receiving a gift a man chose himself that turns out to be exactly what she wanted. It can lift your mood so much that you feel like wearing or using it every day.
But that kind of thing is very rare.
If he’s already given you a gift you didn’t even want after only three dates, I get the impression that he doesn’t have much awareness or consideration for women.
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