I once got involved with one person and ended up developing real feelings for him.

Question

Maybe I’m prone to becoming emotionally dependent, but once I become intimate with someone, I naturally start to feel affection for them. That’s why I’m currently seeing three people in Tokyo and three in other parts of Japan. But in the end, I develop feelings for all of them. Having multiple partners only helps me keep myself from taking any one relationship too seriously. Are there others in a similar situation? It would be painful to reduce the number of people I see, but I also don’t think adding any more would be right. It’s not exactly a problem, but I’ve been wondering what I should do.

Answer 1

It’s only natural in a way, because if it weren’t that rewarding, you wouldn’t see the value in it or get hooked… You could even say everyone gets involved because they want to become hooked.

Answer 2

Is it just me, or does this post sound kind of feminine…? Since the person asking is currently seeing multiple people and isn’t dependent on any one of them, I think it’s probably best to keep things as they are for now…

Answer 3

If it’s genuinely causing you problems, seek help from a psychiatrist, counselor, or similar professional and get treatment for the addiction. If it isn’t causing you problems, keep doing what you’re doing. Addiction works the same way regardless of the object—whether it’s drugs, alcohol, shoplifting, groping, shopping, sex, or romance. It’s also a social concept related to welfare, so dependence on an illegal act is immediately considered an illness. Dependence on a legal activity, however, is considered an illness only if it’s causing the person distress; if it isn’t, it isn’t regarded as an illness. Apparently, you’re dependent on something that is, at least technically, legal, so the decision is yours.

Answer 4

Some relationships may be nothing more than sex and money without any affection, but I think there are also arrangements that involve a certain amount of genuine affection. If someone has multiple partners and can still exercise self-control, what’s the problem? I think it’s fine to keep things as they are without adding or reducing partners.

I once got involved with one person and ended up developing real feelings for him.

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I once got involved with one person and ended up developing real feelings for him.

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