I’m usually one of the people answering questions here, but I had a simple question come to mind, so I thought I’d ask.

Question

Men can access the setting information from their member page, and there’s a ranking of meeting locations. Looking at it, most of the locations are hotel lobbies, with the occasional station exit or even Ginza Six. All of my dates so far have started with meeting in front of the restaurant I reserved. (Although as I write this, I remember that there was one time when we met at a station and walked to the restaurant together.) When you meet in a hotel lobby, do you usually have the date at the hotel lounge? Or do you go from there to a restaurant in the hotel? Do you meet first without making a reservation, and then decide to go somewhere for a meal if things seem to be going well? I’d love to hear about everyone’s typical first-date arrangements, including whether you choose to meet in a hotel lobby.

Answer 1

In my case, I’ve used all of those arrangements. The other day, since we were meeting from 3 p.m., we met in the hotel lobby and had tea at the lounge there. Sometimes we also meet in a hotel lobby and walk to a restaurant about a minute away. I do this because I consider that she might get lost if it’s her first time going to the restaurant. However, if the restaurant I booked isn’t near a hotel, we meet in front of the restaurant. On the other hand, I’ve never arranged to meet at a train station. Considering the woman’s position, I felt it would be better to avoid meeting somewhere crowded with lots of people. To Toshi, When a respondent asks a question, I think it should be fine either way whether they identify themselves. However, my impression is that if someone writes, “I’m a respondent,” it leads to more answers, which may encourage more impersonation. That’s how seriously I feel this Q&A box has been disrupted.

Answer 2

I’m the person who asked this question. Thank you all for your answers. I found it interesting that there were quite a few different perspectives. Maezawa, just to be sure, I checked the instructions on the answerer’s page again, and it says: “Answerers may submit questions anonymously. However, if you are answering your own question, please begin by saying, ‘I’m member [name]. Actually, I’m the one who posted this question.’” So my understanding is that there’s no problem with asking questions anonymously.

Answer 3

Huh? I thought respondents were supposed to identify themselves… For now, I’d appreciate it if you could state in the answer section, “I’m the person this question is about.” I’ll keep this hidden until the respondent comes forward. The respondent has identified themselves, so I’ve made it visible again. That said, if you claim to be the respondent, I’d like you to say who you are as soon as possible. Anonymous questions are allowed, but if someone claims to be the respondent without identifying themselves, we can’t rule out the possibility that someone else is pretending to be them. In that case, it seems like it would be better not to say you’re the respondent in the first place—but I suppose that would feel deceptive, right? If so, please come forward promptly once a few answers have been posted. In the future, questions claiming to be from the respondent may be hidden. --- At Universe Club, the default is usually a meal, so when people meet in a hotel lobby, they often go to a restaurant in that hotel. However, some men meet women in a hotel lobby and then take them to a restaurant in the hotel district. This can sometimes lead to complaints from the woman. For example, she may have thought they were going to a hotel restaurant, but instead they end up walking outside the hotel and she says, “I was made to walk quite a long way” (with a few extra details added along the way). It turns into something like, “If I’d known we’d be walking this much, I would have worn different shoes.” I do feel bad for someone who came in high heels and then has to walk around. So, when making the initial offer, it’s probably best to send a message along the lines of: “We’ll meet in the hotel lobby, but we’re planning to have dinner at a restaurant outside the hotel.” A man might think, “Who cares which restaurant it is?” But precisely because it’s someone you’re meeting for the first time, I think it’s important to be considerate.

Answer 4

With the papa I’ve been seeing for five years, we met just outside the station ticket gates. I was a mix of nervous and excited feelings. It brings back memories♡ Hotel lobbies are another option. From there, you go to the hotel restaurant, then upstairs to a room—it might be a smooth and convenient flow. It’s also nice when the restaurant they reserved is easy to find, like right in front of you. So, which answerer are you?

Answer 5

In Kyoto, I overwhelmingly prefer meeting in front of a restaurant—it feels much more relaxing. At a station, I get restless worrying about being watched from every direction.

Answer 6

My guess is that it may simply be a matter of how the data is displayed. The total number of offers may be several thousand or even tens of thousands, with the top result having just over 70. In terms of data, that’s a pretty small number… This is just speculation, but perhaps the data can only be aggregated by specific locations. If there were a category for “directly at a restaurant,” I feel like that would probably come out on top. However, when pulling the data, it’s probably easier—or less of a hassle—to search by individual, specific names, which may be why the results turned out this way. That’s only my guess, though… Personally, I’m not a fan of café lounges in hotel lobbies. I mentioned this in a previous answer or column, but once a group of older women held a lunch gathering right next to us. It ruined the atmosphere and made it impossible to discuss the terms. Since I negotiate an adult relationship at the first meeting, I always choose a private room at a restaurant and arrange to meet directly at our table.

Answer 7

It depends, but most of the time I meet them at a restaurant. I’ve met at a hotel lobby before, but I didn’t find it particularly pleasant, so I haven’t actively arranged lobby meetups since then. At hotel lounges, I mostly end up listening to the women I’m seeing complain or talk negatively about everyday things, so I rarely use lounges either. By the way, regarding this question and the previous one, you say you’re an answerer—what kind of questions do you answer?

Answer 8

City hotels with lobbies on the lower floors are places where you routinely see lots of women waiting to meet their papas. Going up to a room would be one thing, but it seems many couples move from there to a love hotel. I’d sometimes find myself thinking, “The couples who go to—or can go to—a room at the city hotel must be the winners.” I can’t help wondering what the hotel staff think about it. For the record, I generally meet and part ways at the restaurant. I do it that way because I feel bad walking around town together. If we met in the lobby, we’d have to walk to the restaurant together or take a taxi, and I feel like that might make the woman put her guard up, so I don’t meet in hotel lobbies.

Answer 9

For a first meeting, I arrange to meet in the lobby of a city hotel and make a reservation at one of the restaurants inside. Since there’s almost no travel involved and we can dine at the restaurant right there, I think it helps the woman feel more comfortable.

Answer 10

If the meal is inexpensive, I put the difference toward the allowance, so for the first meeting, I start at a low-key café, ask what she wants, and then move elsewhere. (I try to make it look like we’re having a business meeting.) So even for a first-meeting B-type date that’s dinner only (no intimacy), I give an allowance separate from transportation costs. The details of the first date vary from person to person. I suggest places where we won’t attract attention, but some women casually suggest shopping in crowded, public places. You really can’t know until you meet in person.

Answer 11

For me, every first meeting was arranged at a table in a restaurant, meeting inside the establishment. I’ve never had a last-minute cancellation on a first meeting. If a man meets a lot of women and chooses from among them, I suppose some may offer just 5,000 yen for a short meeting.

I’m usually one of the people answering questions here, but I had a simple question come to mind, so I thought I’d ask.

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I’m usually one of the people answering questions here, but I had a simple question come to mind, so I thought I’d ask.

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