Once I get to know a man reasonably well, he sometimes suggests going on an all-day date, like visiting an aquarium or amusement park. Since the allowance is usually the same as usual even for an all-day date, I find it emotionally and physically demanding to spend my entire day off that way. I’d like to ask for a little more allowance for an all-day date, but would it be okay to tell him that directly? I’m worried he might lose interest in me.

If you tell them outright, there’s a good chance they’ll lose interest, so I think it’s best to keep turning them down. Only if they say something like, “I really want to go no matter what,” you could work it into a conversation that sounds half-serious, half-joking: “Sure, if you’ll pay three times as much. Apparently the Red Comet gets three times as much too. Just kidding.” Though I suppose more people probably don’t know who the Red Comet is these days…

Relationships tend to last with women who suggest long dates or overnight stays without asking for extra allowance. They’ve taken a big risk and put a lot on the line, so you can’t simply dismiss those feelings. I don’t know how much you like that papa, but judging from your wording, he seems to be nothing more than a business partner you neither like nor dislike. So I think you’ll probably turn down the long date and eventually get dropped.

There’s no way for an outsider to know whether it’s okay to bring it up. I think it depends on the man’s perspective and how you approach the subject. Personally, I take an approach similar to Paper Airplane’s: I don’t go on that kind of date unless the woman invites me. I’ve never been asked by a woman to increase her allowance for an all-day date, but if she did suggest it, I think I would decline.

I think it’s better to wait until you’ve gotten quite close before going on that kind of date. Ideally, the woman should be the one to suggest it once she starts wanting to do it herself. Papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is supposed to be about doing lots of things the woman wants to do. I think you may be more of a transactional relationship type. If this happens before you’ve gotten close, it would really turn me off. I probably wouldn’t meet him again. Once you’re close, the allowance doesn’t change whether the date is short or long, so even a full day would be fine. But without an adult relationship (intimate), you’d be spending the entire day going wherever the woman wants to go and doing whatever she wants to do for only a small amount. Since the allowance seems important to you, I think you’d be better off passing on this. Just to give you a little support, that papa (a male supporter) is pretty terrible at being a papa. A papa’s job is to make the woman feel comfortable, but if he keeps repeating exhausting dates without picking up on how she feels, asking what she wants, or doing anything that feels like a little extra, then I’d say he’s failed as a papa.

That’s something the man should be considerate about, though. If you’re worried he might lose interest, it may be better to turn down an all-day date by giving some kind of reason. *I always state the allowance for both short and long dates from the beginning.* P.S. I wonder if this man offers the same amount even for an overnight stay. Opinions may differ on how far the same amount should apply—short dates, long dates, or overnight stays.