Whenever I have a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) date scheduled, I can’t sleep the night before, and on the day itself I’m overwhelmed with depression. I also wake up at odd hours.
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I go to a love hotel thinking I want to die.
Is quitting really the only option?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
For you, it sounds like papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has effectively become sex work.
They say that one in three sex workers struggles emotionally.
I think the main reasons are being made to do things they don’t want to do and feeling as though they aren’t being treated like a person.
The appeal of papa-katsu is that you’re not dealing with random, unspecified people—you can have an adult relationship (intimate) only with someone who won’t make you do things you dislike.
If you find a good person and can maintain a long-term relationship with them, you may be able to continue enjoying it.
However, if your standards are too high, relationships won’t last, and you’ll start constantly searching for someone new.
Not many men are attracted to women who behave that way, so from there it becomes a vicious cycle.
In conclusion, I think you should make an effort to leave this world behind.
You may earn less, but look for a regular daytime job without being too selective about the work.
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You’re the same person as in that post.
It may be time to move on. Comparing yourself to who you were when you were young and radiant will only make you feel miserable, so forget it all and face yourself as you are now.
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If you hate it so much that you feel like dying, quit. You might be happier putting that same determination into something else.
Or maybe the problem is the papas you’ve been meeting?
I think there are papas you can genuinely like as people, and who are clean and presentable enough that you wouldn’t mind being intimate with them.
If you absolutely can’t handle older men, then I suppose it can’t be helped—but maybe you’re overthinking it a little?
Women can choose their papas in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so until you meet one you wouldn’t mind being intimate with, you could always make money in other ways.
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I don’t know how old you are, but repeatedly doing things against your wishes from a young age can have consequences you never imagined later in life. It can sometimes become a driving force, but basically, it only has negative effects.
I’m not going to tell you to quit.
But the reason you’re saying such sleepy, unconvincing things is that your purpose for earning money is unclear. The women I know who are really proactive about papa-katsu don’t complain or show weakness. That’s because they have a clear goal.
Why not take another look at what you’re earning the money for?
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There’s also a way of living where you stop doing the things you don’t want to do.
Whether it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or work, it may not be easy, but it is possible to do what you want while gaining both enjoyment and money. Since life is precious, it would be nice if you could spend more of your time on the things you truly want to do.
Other than simply quitting, you probably wouldn’t be doing papa-katsu unless you had a real need or difficult circumstances. So it may be worth taking another look at what it helps you resolve and what kind of support you receive through papa-katsu.
If papa-katsu helps you escape from something, then it may also be worth appreciating that. And perhaps you can find a sense of your own worth and the meaning of your life in the fact that your papa (a male supporter) accepts you. I hope you’re able to feel some sense of purpose or significance in your existence.
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If you hate it so much that you genuinely feel like dying, you should quit.
To borrow your wording, I’m also earning money for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) while feeling like I could die from how much I hate it.
Other than quitting, you could throw yourself into papa-katsu and find a papa (a male supporter) you don’t dislike. I’m also doing my best to find a job I don’t hate, though I haven’t had much luck so far.
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There may be ways to deal with it besides quitting, but you’ll probably have to try various things to find one that works.
The quickest option is to quit, and I think you’d be better off doing that.
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