In my case, whether it’s through a club or a romantic relationship, I’ve never had a relationship end after being together for more than three years.
That’s because as time goes by, you don’t necessarily get bored—instead, the bond between you deepens. I honestly don’t really understand getting bored with someone’s character or the relationship itself. I can understand wanting a different woman or getting tired of her body, but I think there are also men and women who want to deepen some kind of connection beyond that.
A woman from a club may not feel particularly grateful after just three years, but as more time passes, I believe both people can gradually build up a genuine sense of gratitude toward each other.
Whether you’ll be able to experience that kind of emotion, or whether the relationship will simply lose its freshness over time and become boring, is something only you can know. It depends on what you’re looking for.
Of course, it also depends on whether you place more importance on an adult relationship (intimate) or on the nature of the relationship itself.
If you build a connection that goes beyond papa-katsu—or even a romantic relationship—then there may no longer be any reason for it to end.
If both people come to feel that they’ll never meet someone like this again, or that the other person is one of the few truly precious people in their life, they’re unlikely to cut ties. Neither side would want to end a relationship like that.
I basically agree with Basil, but let me get a little more specific.
First, if the woman has basically become distant—for example, she never contacts you unless you reach out first, or only gets in touch when she feels like meeting, maybe once a month—then it’s fine to let things naturally fade out. Specifically, don’t contact her yourself, and if she does contact you, just ignore it. That’s the end of it.
With someone you’ve been messaging frequently or meeting fairly often, suddenly disappearing may make her lose faith in people, so I think it’s important to make it feel like you’re gradually fading out. Take a little longer to reply, or turn down invitations by saying things like, “I’ve been kind of busy lately.” After keeping that up for a while, switch to simply leaving her messages unanswered. More than half the time, she’ll never contact you again. Even if she does, if you intend to end things, it’s best not to reply and just ignore her. The conclusion is already decided, so dragging it out will only make things harder for both of you. Let’s do our best with the mindset of a waitress at Mimiwa, lowering a live shrimp into boiling water and never loosening her tongs, no matter how much it struggles.
If you have the money, giving something like a parting payment is a good idea. Money is like pocket tissues or toilet paper—having more is never a bad thing—so I don’t think anyone feels bad about receiving it.
You know how some people put banknotes in the offering box at a shrine? I imagine people who give parting money are probably that kind of person. I once prayed at New Year’s, “I want to have sex with a beautiful woman.” Later, I started worrying that my wording had been too vague and that I might actually be punished for it. So I went back to the same shrine on a weekday afternoon, when there were few visitors, and carefully explained the circumstances, the background, and what I was hoping to achieve. After that, I had several great encounters in quick succession, so I went back to thank the shrine—but I put in 20 yen each time.
I hope this helps.
Taro
I don’t think a breakup payment is necessary.
To avoid making things complicated, isn’t that why you’ve been giving her money on a pay-per-meeting basis?
You could either block her without making another date, or tell her that you can no longer continue for an unavoidable reason.
Something along those lines, I’d say.
> I’m a low-income papa, so I can’t give her that much…
Why not stop using this site and try a dating app instead?
I imagine there are fewer men who give a parting payment, but I think that’s one of the differences between an arrangement club and a dating app. You should have the kind of relationship—and the kind of ending—that’s appropriate for an arrangement club.
Besides, if you don’t have the money, wouldn’t starting a new arrangement be impossible anyway?
If you’re reluctant to spend the money, couldn’t you just let things naturally fade out and avoid paying it?
By the way, I’m stingy too, but depending on the person, I’ll give them roughly the equivalent of several pay-per-meeting allowances.
