I’ve been open to seeing a papa (a male supporter) as long as he was a good person, even if the allowance was low—but I’ve never met a genuinely good papa who paid a low allowance.

I generally let the woman decide based on what she wants, but the allowance usually ends up being about the same anyway. I don’t think many people would ask for an amount they’re unhappy with themselves, so I assume it’s probably fine. This is just based on what I’ve heard locally, but I’ve also heard of people who didn’t want to meet someone again even though they were offering a generous (well-paying) allowance. So there are probably still a certain number of people like that, even among generous supporters.

Misei, long time no see. It’s been about two years, hasn’t it? It’s amazing that you’ve managed to keep two papas with dinner-only dates—and that both are on monthly arrangements. I also meet several women for dinner only, but they all pay me on a pay-per-meeting basis. I wonder what your secret is. Maybe you give off the feeling that you’re half in love with your papas, and they pick up on that and treat you so well that things ended up staying dinner-only, without an adult relationship? Sorry this doesn’t really answer the question.

It’s been a while. For you, what makes a good papa—a papa you can stay with for a long time, or one who gives you a generous allowance? I have two papas. My relationship with one started as an adult relationship, but for quite some time now, we’ve only been going out on dates without intimacy. I don’t know whether I’m not attractive enough or whether he simply doesn’t want a physical relationship anymore, since I haven’t asked him. The other is also a non-intimate arrangement. Both of them give me a monthly allowance that’s enough to live comfortably. They’re both kind and we’ve been seeing each other for a long time, but neither relationship involves physical intimacy anymore, and I’ve started to feel lonely because of that. What makes a good papa? This was a thought-provoking question. **Makeo-san** There’s no intimacy, but we don’t just meet for meals. We take baths together, sleep beside each other, and travel together too. I don’t really have any secrets to share, but perhaps it’s because we genuinely value each other and have built a deep relationship. That said, I don’t consider the fact that our adult relationship ended to be a good thing.

I think the gist is pretty much as you described. Basically, I don’t believe an allowance is necessary in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). So the allowance I offer is on the low side. As for whether these relationships last, every woman I met through the club who became someone I really liked is still in my life today. I think that even among relationships connected by money, the ones where both people place more importance on the relationship itself are the ones that continue. Also, no matter what industry they worked in, some women who were among the most popular in their field ended up dating me privately without money involved because they found it relaxing and a good way to relieve stress. I suppose there must be some benefit they feel they’re getting from it. The same goes for women from the club. Some women who receive an overwhelming number of offers—even though we aren’t dating—actually invite me out for advice or a meal without an allowance. Whether it’s entertaining clients, papa-katsu, or simply being a senior figure, I think lavish treatment can be stressful for some people. If there’s no allowance involved, they can even come meet me in pajamas without makeup, and that’s perfectly fine... I think it’s nice to occasionally go on a date that’s just about enjoying each other’s company, without any financial motives on either side. I’ve also stayed together for decades with the girlfriends I met after reaching adulthood, including a former wife and former fiancée, without ever really parting ways. So, from a woman’s perspective, I’m probably just an unattractive, boring, overly serious man whose only redeeming quality is that she can say whatever she wants to me and tear me apart.

That’s a pretty clever question. People from Osaka love bragging about how cheaply they bought something or how much they managed to haggle. So I get it—you’re drawing out the questioner’s meager allowance while also giving them a chance to brag about their good papa. I understand. In my case, it starts at ¥30,000. That would be considered a good papa on an app, but within a club, it’s practically the minimum. I’m not really sure what “good papa” means in the true sense of the term. Some arrangements have continued for years, though.

I always offer a flat allowance of 50,000 yen, but lately friends have been introducing me to girls they met through apps. In those cases, I don’t want to cause trouble for the men making the introductions, so I offer 30,000 or 40,000 yen instead. Apparently, on apps these days, 30,000 yen makes you a good papa (a male supporter), while 40,000 yen makes you an ideal supporter. I’ve only just started, so I don’t have enough experience to say I’m “doing well” with these girls, but I’ll tell you about them. They’re usually 18 or 19, and at most around 21. That’s simply my personal preference. I’ve had sex with about six of them. Though by “sex,” I mean I only perform oral sex with a condom and then briefly penetrate them to check their skills and how their vaginas feel, since I’m worried about infections. I absolutely don’t allow kissing or unprotected oral sex. Regardless of what happens to me, I’d feel terrible if I passed something on to the other women I’m seeing. After our first sexual encounter, I take them to a doctor I’m friends with and have them tested for STIs. The results were shocking: all six of them had an STI. They had various infections—chlamydia, gonorrhea, mycoplasma, and trichomoniasis—so it didn’t seem like one particular person was spreading something through the app. I also get a urine test every time, and I’ve always tested negative. That’s evidence that my “no mucous-membrane or bodily-fluid contact” policy works. The doctor tells me the results later, and I pass them on to the girls via LINE. Their reactions are interesting. Some of them keep chatting with me normally, but the moment I tell them they tested positive, they stop reading my messages and disappear. It’s strange. Are they avoiding reality? Are they just stupid? What are they thinking? Most of them respond, “I’ll go to a gynecologist. Thank you.” When I ask whether they have any idea where they caught it, they say things like, “Maybe from my ex.” Some even say, “I have one papa who has unprotected sex with me. He shows me his test results every time and says, ‘I’m fine,’ so…” They’re probably being deceived. Based on their reactions, as well as their faces, figures, vaginal condition, oral-sex skills, and my overall assessment, I tell some of them, “Contact me when you’re cured. I like you and would like to see you again.” Then they say, “Really? Thank you so much,” and I’m going on a date tonight with one of the women who’s finished treatment. I call this “recycled papa-katsu girls.” Tonight’s girl is an 18-year-old half-Japanese woman, and apparently she’s bringing her best friend. The girl herself is beautiful, but her friend is even prettier. When I told her about the STI situation, she said, “I might do papa-katsu with a man like that.” She’s never done papa-katsu before, but she’s going to introduce her to me. What do you think? The advantages of recycled papa-katsu girls are: 1. The allowance is low. 2. They’re easy to deceive—or, put another way, they’re straightforward. 3. Because of the STI testing, they trust me absolutely. I assume the questioner wanted to hear a woman’s perspective on what makes a good papa, and whether I qualify is up to them to decide. Some people will read this and think, “I wouldn’t want anything to do with women like that,” right? But here’s the thing: girls like these 18- and 19-year-olds from apps eventually grow up. By their late twenties, they hide their past, make their debut at Universe, become platinum or black members, and start saying, “I generally don’t do adult relationships.” People grow by being deceived. Even if they don’t blatantly deceive their partners, they learn how to walk the line and make the most of a situation. Why do they say, “I generally don’t do adult relationships”? Because they can ultimately sell themselves for more that way, right? What they really mean is, “I don’t do it for cheap.” It’s a tactic limited to attractive, polished women. I think my version of papa-katsu is like harvesting promising young talent early. Even if you meet a beautiful woman at Universe who has a completely clean bill of health, one day she might come back with an STI from another papa or her boyfriend. There’s no such thing as someone staying perfectly clean forever. So I figure I have a better chance of finding a good one by salvaging from the “recycled” pool. Reading this over again, I’m starting to think that someone like me might be a true good papa. I don’t know where this steel-like self-esteem comes from, but all the women I date seem to gradually develop more self-esteem too, so maybe that’s transmissible through sex as well. If you have low self-esteem, send me a reverse offer. Send “That’s wonderful” to “Mac-san” at the Nagoya branch, along with the message, “I read your question box.” I’ll be waiting. Sexual development isn’t the only kind of growth. Seriously, I think a true good papa is a man who helps build a woman’s self-esteem. More than money. To sum it up in one phrase: A good papa is a guy who boosts your confidence.

Is this the usual person asking? I think my own allowance is fairly average, and there’s not much point in commenting on my self-assessment, so I’ll leave that aside. I know several women who have satisfying long-term arrangements, since I often hear them talk about their relationships. They don’t bring up the amount of their allowance themselves, nor do they seem particularly fixated on it. After reading your question, I get the impression that you place a strong emphasis on the amount of the allowance, so perhaps it plays a major role in how you evaluate the men you see.

I’m not sure whether my allowance is high or low, but I’m aware that it’s definitely not exceptionally generous. Even though I can’t drink alcohol at all, I used to go to host clubs quite often. Since I couldn’t drink, I never kept ordering drinks, so to be honest, I was a low-paying customer. However, I listened to the hosts’ problems and, above all, provided a comfortable place for them. Eventually, the club started deliberately assigning slightly tipsy hosts to me as a place to take a break—especially since they were popular and had plenty of drinks bought for them. So even though I was a low-paying customer, I got to spend more time with popular hosts, and both the club and the hosts valued me as a reliable, reassuring customer. In the same way, I think relationships aren’t determined by the allowance alone. You have to consider everything together, including the amount of time involved and the stress.