I’m 19. My papa told me things like, “You’re a diamond in the rough. I want to turn you into a sophisticated, beautiful woman.” I’ve invested in myself and worked hard, so being called a “diamond in the rough” stung a little. Was he actually complimenting me?

> Is this meant as a compliment? I think it is. They may have recognized that, because you invest in yourself and put in the effort, you could become a diamond with a little polishing. It means you still have plenty of room to grow. Does that mean you thought you had already reached your limit? If you can become even more beautiful, I think that’s a good thing.

The questioner did post a question once before, on March 1, 2023. https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/15108 That was a year and a half ago, so if she’s 19 now, she had only just turned 18 at the time. Saying she was “registered with several dating clubs” and had been seeing “more than a dozen” papas (male supporters) doesn’t really add up. ↑ Sorry, I checked again, and although the ID looks like 82914 from your side, it’s different when I check it from the respondent’s side. My mistake. I guess I need to double-check these things. That said, the next question shows the same ID and the same person from our side too, but the age is different. A rough diamond is a rough diamond. Even if you polish it thinking, “This is going to be a magnificent diamond,” that doesn’t necessarily mean it will turn out that way. And that man who says, “I want to turn her into a beautiful, stylish woman”—he’s pretty young himself. Once you’ve experienced misjudging someone, you come to see things differently. Have you heard the saying, “Diamonds don’t get scratched”? A real diamond doesn’t squeal and whine just because someone called it a rough stone. I like girls around 18 to 21. Of course, part of it is that they’re young and physically pleasant to hold, but more than that—this is the honest truth—I can sense a certain childishness in their hearts and feel their potential. You could call it elasticity. I’m a real Peter Pan myself, with a childlike curiosity and—I don’t know how else to put it—a strong instinct to resist anything that has already been established, stabilized, and set in motion. So I enjoy finding a Wendy to play with. Women go through various experiences by around 21, changing as though their programs are gradually unfolding, and by around 22 their personalities become more or less settled. That’s how it is for everyone. Men tend to mature a little later and more slowly. I may have been there during that period and influenced them in some way. I’d like to believe it was a positive influence. In other words, I hope some of my own wisdom and kindness as a human being were passed on to them. But sometimes I’m left with a bitter feeling: “After staying by her side, supporting her, and being there for her all that time, was using me really all she was capable of?” I’ve said this many times, but I don’t deny that I’m a sleazy papa-katsu papa. If anything, that’s exactly why I tried to bring out the best parts of myself and treat them with the feeling that a father has when showing his child how to live. But some girls just can’t be helped. Saying, “I want to turn her into a beautiful, stylish woman” is awfully presumptuous. In the end, people can only become themselves. Looking back, I was the same way. When I was young, I could only think about taking advantage of other people’s goodwill. I never thought, “I want to become that kind of adult myself.” I didn’t have the emotional room for that. And besides, I’m a papa-katsu papa dealing with someone who’s selling her body. I suppose it’s only natural. I do have unpleasant experiences that make me think this way, but even so, I like being close to young women and their immaturity and potential. It’s not because I’m a lolicon or see them as sexual objects. I feel something similar toward young men too. Since I don’t view men as sexual objects, I don’t pay them for papa-katsu, but I do enjoy buying them meals. In that sense, I’m also a dinner-only papa to young men. If someone is short on money, I’ll casually give them some spending money too. “A rough diamond,” huh? Well, you have to polish yourself, and I suppose the material you’re made of is already determined when you’re born. More than anything, I’m aware that I ended up remaining a rough diamond myself, so I can’t exactly lecture anyone. Oh, right. I just thought of a good way to explain to the men reading this why I like women around 18 to 21. Most of you don’t mind treating younger male colleagues or juniors to a meal, right? For women, the age at which you can feel that same kind of connection is 21 or younger. Once they’re over 22, their personalities are already established, and it’s not easy to get inside their world. Can you understand the difference between what I’m describing and being a lolicon from that analogy? Come to think of it, maybe it’s less about fatherhood and more about having a craftsman’s mindset. Not passing on a craft, but passing on life skills. A craftsman of life. A rough diamond, huh. Self-investment, you say. Looking back, I’ve also lived this far by thinking the same way as the questioner and forcing myself to believe it. When I think about it now, for someone like me—weak and lacking confidence—believing in my own future potential was probably something like an axis that kept me going. I was really only thinking about myself. These days, though, I’m getting a little tired of thinking about myself. Through papa-katsu, interacting with young women has also allowed me to see myself clearly from a different angle. What about you, questioner? If you’re really a woman doing papa-katsu, then through that experience, whether you like it or not, you have to face yourself from a certain angle, don’t you? Desire. Ego. When you say self-investment, do you mean beauty treatments? Or acquiring knowledge and culture? Maybe that’s just escapism. Don’t invest in yourself. Face yourself as you are, exactly as you are. To hell with being a rough diamond. You are only yourself. Don’t compare yourself to diamonds or anything else that isn’t the self you already are. Isn’t that disrespectful to yourself? This isn’t about simply giving up. Only by accepting yourself as you are can true self-improvement begin.

“An uncut diamond” is a compliment. To boost someone’s self-esteem, people sometimes say that although they may not be shining right now, they already have value—just like an uncut diamond has value even before it’s polished. I don’t know whether the questioner is 19 or in their twenties, but if they’re already fully developed, then all that’s left is to decline. They’ll just be fighting aging. Men who think 18- and 19-year-olds are the best are generally called lolicons, but what do you call women who believe 19 is the ultimate age? By that logic, life would be downhill from age 20 onward. What a dull way to live. Whether it’s beauty or character, it’s better for your mental health to keep climbing a mountain with no summit—believing that you’re a late bloomer, that today is better than yesterday, and that tomorrow will be even better than today.

I think he’s complimenting you. What age do you think will be the peak of your life? It would be nice to have someone who supports you so you can keep trying new things no matter how old you are.